PANETTA[speaking]: But even here at the White House, some adjustments will be required.
CLINTON: OK, tell the ushers
To take a few days off.
Tell the maids and cooks and butlers
To go play themselves some golf.
We have to do without the clerks
Let them all go home.
CURRIE: What about the secretaries?
Who will get the phones?
CLINTON[speaking]: We've got to make sure the Oval Office functions with efficiency. We can't afford the tiniest error.
PANETTA: Aha! I have it!
TODAY IN SLATE
Meet the New Bosses
How the Republicans would run the Senate.
The Government Is Giving Millions of Dollars in Electric-Car Subsidies to the Wrong Drivers
Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.
Cheez-Its. Ritz. Triscuits.
Why all cracker names sound alike.
Friends Was the Last Purely Pleasurable Sitcom
This Whimsical Driverless Car Imagines Transportation in 2059
- Protesters Take to the Streets to Sound Alarm on Climate Change in New York, Across the World
- Knife-Carrying White House Jumper is Vet who Feared “Atmosphere Was Collapsing”
- North Korea: American Sentenced to Hard Labor Wanted to Become “Second Snowden”
- Almost One in Four Americans Support Idea of Splitting From the Union
Did America Get Fat by Drinking Diet Soda?
A high-profile study points the finger at artificial sweeteners.