MONICA!

articles
Dec. 18 1998 3:30 AM

MONICA!

A libretto in search of a composer

(Continued from Page 26)

LEWINSKY: The election was held and the people have spoken,

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I can't believe what they had to say.

My boyfriend is still in office

And he might return to me one day.

You think perhaps that he will not want me

For all the trouble I've caused so far,

But he knows I can always make him happy

With my thong and my cigar.

CLINTON: The election was held and the people have spoken,

I can't believe what they had to say.

The removal threat is over,

TODAY IN SLATE

Sports Nut

Grandmaster Clash

One of the most amazing feats in chess history just happened, and no one noticed.

The Extraordinary Amicus Brief That Attempts to Explain the Wu-Tang Clan to the Supreme Court Justices

Amazon Is Officially a Gadget Company. Here Are Its Six New Devices.

The Human Need to Find Connections in Everything

It’s the source of creativity and delusions. It can harm us more than it helps us.

How Much Should You Loathe NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell?

Here are the facts.

Food

How to Order Chinese Food

First, stop thinking of it as “Chinese food.”

Scotland Is Inspiring Secessionists Across America

You Shouldn’t Spank Anyone but Your Consensual Sex Partner

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