President Clinton has left for vacation and the American people may or may not be "moving on," but Flytrap surely remains. The Speech may have guaranteed Clinton's survival, but it won't prevent more testimony by Monica and Linda, a possible presidential subpoena, a tough report by Starr, and congressional impeachment hearings. So, before Slate heads off on a short vacation of its own, I propose a Flytrap midterm: 20 questions to help keep you busy during the August scandal doldrums. Plenty of mysteries about Flytrap remain. Here's your chance to guess their solutions. (In this test, as in the SAT, you won't know the results for months.)
1 What did Hillary really know, and when did she know it?
a) Nothing until he told her this weekend. She truly believed him.
b) Suspicions all along but no certainty till this weekend.
c) Everything as soon as the scandal broke in January.
d) Lots more nasty details about Clinton's sex life.
e) Some or all of the above.
f) Something else altogether.
3 Clinton may have denied that he committed perjury in the Jones deposition, because he believes what he did with Lewinsky did not technically violate the definition of "sexual relations. Well, what did Clinton and Lewinsky actually do?
a) Oral sex for him, nothing for her; perhaps skirting the Jones definition.
b) Mutual masturbation, skirting the Jones definition.
c) Oral sex for both, clearly violating the Jones definition.
d) Any other alternative, undoubtedly too icky to be discussed here but clearly violating the Jones definition.
4. What was one, just one, of the questions that Clinton refused to answer?
16. Clinton knew that Monica Lewinsky and Kathleen Willey were out there. So why didn't he settle the Paula Jones lawsuit rather than risk exposure?
a) Paula Jones was actually lying, and Clinton refused to cave to her blackmail.
b) Clinton assumed they would never find Willey and Lewinsky.
c) Clinton assumed they would find Willey and Lewinsky but also assumed Willey and Lewinsky would stay silent, because his women usually do.
d) Clinton is a fool.
17 The Supreme Court permitted the Jones suit in part because it would not distract the president from his job. Would the justices have let the Jones suit proceed if they had known it would produce the Flytrap circus?
18. Does Clinton really believe oral sex is not adultery?