Disbursement of Surplus Every month, through various channels including the online auction site UBuyThisNow.com (official online auction site of the ESA since earlier this year!), the administration de-accessions hundreds of pieces of government property. In some cases, like the carload of EPA violation-notice forms, they are simply no longer needed; in others, like the two-headed catboon (see below), they represent government research gone horribly wrong. In every case, they are reminders of something the originating agency would dearly like to forget. That’s where we step in! New items are posted as they become available; check this page for updated highlights.  For the complete list, click here. This Month’s Spotlight Items Two-Headed Catboon Own your own piece of genetic-research history! The stated goal of this NIH experiment was to produce a hybrid creature that was “as cute as a kitten and as smart as a baboon.”  Unfortunately, due to some unforeseen molecular bonding, the animal that resulted was vicious, huge, misshapen, and understandably angry. Eats raw meat only. Strong cage required. Buyer waives all ESA/NIH responsibility for injuries to buyers, their heirs, and assigns. Armored Attack SUV This is the prototype for a new vehicle commissioned by the all-volunteer Army after testing revealed high levels of dissatisfaction with the existing generation of attack craft. Participants in an Army-sponsored focus group found traditional tanks and APCs cramped, confining, and lacking in amenities available to civilian drivers. This vehicle, a specially outfitted Godzilla SUV, was the result. Despite strong backing in the Military Affairs Committee by Rep. Blanton Foghorn, the AASUV was found to be too heavy to maneuver in battle, or, for that matter, to drive at all, and was never OK'd for production. Comes complete with GPS, stylish and functional Kevlar seat covers, side-mounted ground-to-air missiles, and moon roof.