Mission

The Extraneous Services Administration provides the framework for a comprehensive interagency approach to identifying, managing, classifying, sorting, stacking, pushing, probing, fluffing, waxing, and solving heretofore unidentified, unmanaged, unclassified, unsorted, unstacked, unpushed, unprobed, unfluffed, unwaxed, and unsolved issues of governmental administration. The ESA is principally concerned with developing long-term, high-risk, low-torque, medium-rare solutions to problems of governmental abstraction and forgetfulness. It is also the agency that maintains the Congressional Salad Bar.