Advice on manners and morals.
Feb. 14 1998 3:30 AM

(Continued from Page 1)

--Prudence, defiantly

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Dear Prudence,

I am a 50-year-old, blue-collar guy, I work out and take care of myself. I'll never make the cover of a muscle magazine, but I still turn a head now and then.

My wife is 5'4" and weighs about 300 pounds. I told her a few years ago that eventually I would no longer find her sexually attractive. This has long since happened. My wife has told me if she catches me fooling around she will pack up and take the kids.

My kids are why I get up in the morning and the rising sun and joy in my life. Losing them would break my heart. I think about doing something about the ladies that hit on me, but losing my kids is about more than I could face.

And about masturbation, I have calluses where only a warped imagination could imagine. Any bright ideas or suggestions?

--Too Young to Be Celibate

Dear Too Young,

You're old enough to know better. You want me to give you an OK to "fool around." I'm not going to do that. That 300-plus-pound woman is your wife and the mother of your children. You have an obligation to her. She wasn't 300 pounds when you married her. Perhaps she became 300 pounds because you rejected her. When you say that she is not "sexually attractive," you are describing the state of your mind, not her physical condition. You are giving a particular expression to the common feeling of 50-year-old men that they would like to try someone new.

Anyway, to be over 300 pounds is a dangerous condition physically, aside from what it is doing to your emotional life. You should encourage her to seek medical help for her overweight condition. And you should accept the fact that this is your wife and that you are not free to shop the market. I believe you will find there is much about her to love and your sexual desires can be satisfied with her.

--Prudence, unfoolingly

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