Yes, I'm referencing the Isley Brothers' slow jam sampled by Notorious B.I.G. on " Big Poppa " AND by Gwen Stefani on her song " Luxurious , " which included the following ears-filling-up-with-blood lyrics:"We're luxurious, like Egyptian cotton/We're so rich in love, we're rolling in cashmere."
How charmingly 2005 of her. So why, just yesterday, did a flack for [company name redacted] call our office pimping 100 percent cashmere sheets ? Seriously? Amanda inquired as to pricing: A king set retails for close to $5,600. Crikey! Now, I'm all about pleasing the senses, and picking and choosing one's indulgences. In fact, I quite agree with this quote from Frank Lloyd Wright (spotted on the wall of Club Monaco, of all places, while I was fondling their cashmere cardigans): "Give me the luxuries of life and I willingly do without the necessities ."
Holler, Frankie! But who right now, besides perhaps the Sultan of Brunei, is dropping close to $6k on one set of sheets? Promise I'm not jealous, just genuinely curious. Even our big-balling clients would balk.
So, let's talk about bedding criteria: My main one is natural fibers (cotton). I've slept on Bed Bath & Beyond's Hotel Collection (in solid pale blue, pictured) for five years, and have never awakened chafed or wishing for 200 more threads per inch. Or whatever that means-I've seen "experts" on television testify that thread count has relatively little to do with comfort. I like the feel of jersey or that beech fiber alternative, but it always pills and does connote " college dorm ." Silk or satin sheets seem apropos for Hugh Hefner AND itchy. Polyester is just slap out of the question. From a design point of view, I aspire to own a set of triple-line embroidered Schweitzers and weep because Williams-Sonoma Home discontinued their Greek Key bedding ... but a $300 duvet cover is still out of my budget.
So tell me, are you a true player when buying the sheets, or just between them? Or both?
TODAY IN SLATE
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It’s the source of creativity and delusions. It can harm us more than it helps us.
How Much Should You Loathe NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell?
Here are the facts.
The Plight of the Pre-Legalization Marijuana Offender
What should happen to weed users and dealers busted before the stuff was legal?