Yes, I'm referencing the Isley Brothers' slow jam sampled by Notorious B.I.G. on " Big Poppa " AND by Gwen Stefani on her song " Luxurious , " which included the  following ears-filling-up-with-blood lyrics:"We're luxurious, like Egyptian cotton/We're so rich in love, we're rolling in cashmere."

How charmingly 2005 of her. So why, just yesterday, did a flack for [company name redacted] call our office pimping 100 percent cashmere sheets ? Seriously? Amanda inquired as to pricing: A king set retails for close to $5,600. Crikey! Now, I'm all about pleasing the senses, and picking and choosing one's indulgences. In fact, I quite agree with this quote from Frank Lloyd Wright (spotted on the wall of Club Monaco, of all places, while I was fondling their cashmere cardigans): "Give me the luxuries of life and I willingly do without the necessities ."

Holler, Frankie! But who right now, besides perhaps the Sultan of Brunei, is dropping close to $6k on one set of sheets? Promise I'm not jealous, just genuinely curious. Even our big-balling clients would balk.

So, let's talk about bedding criteria: My main one is natural fibers (cotton). I've slept on Bed Bath & Beyond's Hotel Collection (in solid pale blue, pictured) for five years,  and have never awakened chafed or wishing for 200 more threads per inch. Or whatever that means-I've seen "experts" on television testify that thread count has relatively little to do with comfort. I like the feel of jersey or that beech fiber alternative, but it always pills and does connote " college dorm ." Silk or satin sheets seem apropos for Hugh Hefner AND itchy. Polyester is just slap out of the question. From a design point of view, I aspire to own a set of triple-line embroidered Schweitzers and weep because Williams-Sonoma Home discontinued their Greek Key bedding ... but a $300 duvet cover is still out of my budget.

So tell me, are you a true player when buying the sheets, or just between them? Or both?