What Women Really Think

April 17 2014 5:54 PM

Adult Recreational Kickball Has a Woman Problem

Today in hard truths that must nonetheless be spoken: Kickball has a woman problem. Are woman kickballers underrepresented in the kickballing population? No. Is there a kickball glass ceiling or a kickball glass cliff? Not that I'm aware of. Do female kickballers get mommy tracked? Maybe, but it’s way worse in dodgeball. So what is this silent scourge afflicting sweaty twenty- and thirtysomethings in parks across America? Deadspin has obtained a revelatory letter from a co-ed team captain, sent only to the dudes on his team.

 “Good morning gentlemen,” it begins.

You'll notice that only the men of [team name] are receiving this email. It's because this rule only applies to you. I know, it's sexist. It's not fair. But it's the way it is. 

The writer proceeds to outline what "the way it is" is, which is, the men are ruining everything by banging their female teammates, who then experience shame and regret, and, inevitably, fail to show up for subsequent games, which ruins the team. The captain guy explains:

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April 17 2014 3:08 PM

It's No Longer Legal to Sexually Harass Unpaid Interns in New York City

Last year, when an unpaid intern in New York sued a Chinese news company, Phoenix Satellite Television, because, she said, a supervisor had groped and assaulted her, a federal judge dismissed her case. As someone who didn’t receive traditional wages for her work, she did not count as an employee and could not seek respite from discrimination or harassment under workplace protection laws. The same thing happened in 1997, when an intern at a psychiatric hospital claimed that she was urged to join an orgy and to strip naked before meeting with a doctor. The courts threw out her sexual harassment claim because she lacked “significant remuneration” for her awful job.

April 17 2014 12:53 PM

Female CEO Shares Story of Being Sexually Harassed By Potential Hires

Yunha Kim, the CEO of the tech startup Locket, recently published a post at Medium chronicling the good and bad parts of being a female boss in such a heavily masculine environment. It's mostly an upbeat, go-get-'em tale, but she makes sure to note that just because she's in a position to hire and fire people doesn't shield her from being sexually harassed. She shares an email she got from a developer she tried to hire, which reads: "I'm pretty happy with current job, but if you're single I'd like to date you. Perhaps there are some unconventional ways to lure me away from my company (besides stock options) if you know what I mean :)"

Kim_email

"And the sad news is," she adds, "this is one of the more professional emails." 

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In an interview with ThinkProgress, Kim notes that she's heard from other women who also have found that being the big boss doesn't mean men treat you with respect. "After the article, I’ve been getting a lot of emails from founders and females in general, and they have even been forwarding me their own emails," she says, adding that, as ThinkProgress writes, "some founders say this sort of behavior goes on even with investors."

All of which is why it's important to focus the discourse around sexual harassment on the issues of boundaries and consent, instead of looking at it strictly through the lens of who officially holds the most power. There can be fully consensual affairs between bosses and underlings—that might be wrong and also frowned upon in the workplace, but it's not sexual harassment. It's important to remember that sexual harassment can take place between peers or, as Kim's story shows, even happen to women at the top. 

April 17 2014 11:26 AM

Women Don't Freeze Their Eggs for Their Careers. They Do It Because They Don’t Have Partners.

Most articles about the increasing number of American women who have children in their late 30s or 40s manage to shame and blame them. They are told they are selfish, caring too much about their careers to press pause for a baby, or too little about their child to have had him at a sprightlier age. They are told they’ll be lonely and out of step with their peers. They are told they are clueless, conveniently “forgetting” that their fertility declines with age. All of which is why it was heartening to read this week’s Bloomberg Businessweek cover story about successful women freezing their eggs. Writer Emma Rosenblum wrote it without being judgmental and provided actual statistics about why women are going the egg freezing route instead of having children earlier: It’s not because they forgot to have kids or wanted to spend extra years drinking cocktails or were chasing the corner office—it’s because they don’t have partners.

April 17 2014 10:42 AM

New Fox News Show Outnumbered Will Have Four Female Hosts and One Man. Get It?

Roger Ailes is an evil genius. In the midst of a nationwide debate over whether or not Republicans are waging a war on women, Fox News is launching a new show called Outnumbered at the end of April. "Outnumbered" because the show will feature four female and one male host. The man will be "outnumbered," meaning that even though Outnumbered is supposedly a female-centric show, the male point-of-view is still so central that it gives the show its title.

Really, the word "outnumbered" should apply to the rest of Fox's programming, where only 36 percent of anchors and correspondents are women. But you know, that's the natural order of things. (Except on MSNBC and CNN, where women make up 48 percent and 58 percent, respectively, of anchors and correspondents.) Gender imbalance is only noteworthy when women outnumber men.

April 17 2014 8:40 AM

What Happens When Esquire and Elle Swap Writers for One Issue

It’s official: Elle and Esquire are totally hooking up. Esquire, an 82-year-old American men’s magazine, has sparked a spring fling with Elle, a 69-year-old French expat. (Scandalously, both are members of the Hearst family.) Elle’s effortlessly chic style is more popular than Esquire’s studied tongue-wagging, yes, but he can always brush off her boasting about higher circulation numbers by showing her his crowded shelf of National Magazine Awards. It’s getting serious: This month, both magazines carved out space in their pages to allow the other to hold court on what men and women really think. In Elle, Esquire editors explain “how to talk to a man”; in Esquire, Elle writers dish on what women really fantasize about (and how often they do it). Extra toothbrushes can’t be far behind.

Like so many young lovers caught in the throes of a new crush, both Elle and Esquire appear to be carefully tailoring their images in an attempt to appeal to what they suspect the other expects. Esquire editor Ross McCammon presents the Esquire man as the typical romantic comedy lead. He begins by appealing to the Elle reader's feminist sensibilities: “We—you and us—have been made to think that we are from different planets, that we communicate in different ways. This is nonsense. We are from the same planet. And we speak exactly the same language.” Then, he reveals his tortured backstory: “Think of the burden we carry into the conversation. Our fathers and grandfathers fought in wars. Some of them not by choice. These were men with heavy souls. These were men who believed they earned the right to be an asshole every now and then. These were the men who taught us how to comport ourselves.” And finally, he informs his leading lady that only she can help save him from his cold, assholish tendencies to become the strong, caring man who emerges at the end of the film: Every man “occasionally blunders and occasionally is a dick and occasionally is his best self,” he writes. “What mostly determines which version of us you will encounter during any given conversation is one crucial variable: you.” He is Matthew McConaughey. You are J. Lo. He may act like an inconsiderate jerk to whomever he was supposed to marry at the beginning of The Wedding Planner, but he’ll make an exception … for you.

April 16 2014 4:15 PM

New York Times Reveals That Basically No One Investigated the Jameis Winston Rape Allegations

Thank you, Walt Bogdanich of the New York Times, for getting to the bottom of what went so horribly wrong in the investigation of the sexual assault accusation against Jameis Winston, Florida State University’s star quarterback. I’ve been writing about this case since news of it broke last November. There has been plenty to be suspicious about along the way. But I learned several key new facts reading Bogdanich’s masterful story, and it all makes the Tallahassee police and FSU look much worse than I’d expected. Which is really saying something. Here’s the damning bottom line: “The New York Times has found that there was virtually no investigation at all, either by the police or the university.”

April 16 2014 3:30 PM

Not Wearing Makeup: Is It Feminism, Laziness, or the Rise of Cosmetic Normcore?

Is makeup going away? Is it the End of Makeup? We’ve seen hordes of #nomakeupselfies—all pale, chapped lips and hooded eyes—on Twitter and Instagram and, oddly, as part of a cancer awareness campaign; we’ve seen New York runways drowned in “raw beauty”; and now, ABC reports, brides are forgoing blush and shadow to achieve a “more natural look” on their wedding day.  

“I think it’s a big trend for brides and couples alike,” said Anja Winika, site director for TheKnot.com. One bare-faced bride added: “I wanted to look presentable for my wedding day, but didn’t feel like makeup was part of that process.

April 16 2014 12:39 PM

Republican Gov. Susana Martinez Has a Foul Mouth and Isn't Big on Facts. She Could Be President.

While most of the media coverage of 2016 GOP presidential contenders has been focused on Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and, lately, Jeb Bush, Gov. Susana Martinez is a sleeper candidate to watch. After all, she had  enough charm and political acumen to snag the governorship of a blue state like New Mexico, and, as Andy Kroll at Mother Jones details in his new profile of Martinez, she's very good at putting on a nice face for the cameras. It's the time when she's away from the cameras that Kroll is most interested in, though. Using a bunch of leaked emails and recordings capturing Martinez's private interactions with her staff, Kroll paints a picture of a woman who has dramatically different public and private personas. Mother Jones’ illustrator takes it a step further, portraying Martinez in an open-mouthed sneer, with smoke and fire rising up behind her to really get the point across.

The audio recordings Kroll released demonstrate that Martinez and her inner circle are mouthy and love to curse, for sure. "Listening to recordings of Martinez talking with her aides is like watching an episode of HBO's Veep, with over-the-top backroom banter full of pique, self-regard, and vindictiveness," Kroll writes. Martinez and her closest aide, Jay McCleskey, are fond of calling people "bitch." Kroll has an audio of Martinez calling her opponent Diane Denish "that little bitch" and a 2009 email from McCleskey in which he writes about former state representative Janice Arnold-Jones, "I FUCKING HATE THAT BITCH!" Kroll also demonstrates that Martinez has a tendency to burn bridges, refuses to engage with anyone she differs with, and holds petty grudges. This is in strong contrast with Martinez's "meticulously cultivated" public image of "a well-liked, bipartisan, warm-hearted governor," an image that has earned her strong approval ratings in a state that largely votes Democratic. The point is clear: Martinez may be all sweetness and light when she faces the public, but behind closed doors, she's Chris Christie.

April 16 2014 12:07 PM

Finally, a Training Bra for the 21st Century

When a girl becomes a woman, she embarks on a wondrous journey of growth, self-discovery, and horrific training bras. The first bra-buying outing is a tweeny shop of horrors: Behold, the dull cotton bralet with a seam down your nonexistent cleavage; the shapeless sports bra with conspicuously cutesy detailing; the padded, push-up number that appears to be compensating for something. Enter Yellowberry, a new company that just raised more than $40,000 on Kickstarter to make bras for girls aged 11-15 that are (assuming mom voice) actually really cute! I talked with Megan Grassell, the 18-year-old founder of Yellowberry (and a high school senior in Jackson Hole, Wy.) about the indignities of buying your first bra, the merits of a colorful strap, and how she came up with an elegant name for a puberty accessory.

Slate: When did you first become aware of the great training bra problem?

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