Green Bulb Blues

What Women Really Think
June 17 2009 4:25 PM

Green Bulb Blues


One night a few years back I visited a friend's apartment, always cute and charming in the light of day. Something was, how shall I say, different.


Me: "Are we having people over or performing open heart surgery?"

Her: "What are you talking about??"

Me: "Those lights ... I feel like I'm in a bodega at 3 a.m."

Her: "My mom brought me a bunch of compact fluorescent light bulbs from Sam's Club! They're super energy-efficient."

Oh. I'm going out on another limb here (having already offended my dear Auntie by knocking accordion shades !) to say I'd rather sit alone in the dark than under one of these Compact Fluorescent Lights (CFLs). Seriously, I know they last for milennnia and will save the planet and put an extra Andrew Jackson in your pocket every year, but is that worth zapping all the color out of your living room? Or your face's pallor in the bathroom mirror? So depressing!

Call me oversensitive-I can't even abide those incandescent "Reveal" bulbs and would prefer a 25-watt pink glow in every room-but lighting concepts can make or break a room, not to mention parties and, erm, romantic encounters. Catherine Deneuve says women eventually have to choose between their face and their rear; must I really choose between my soft and inviting apartment and the polar icecaps?



Medical Examiner

The Most Terrifying Thing About Ebola 

The disease threatens humanity by preying on humanity.

I Bought the Huge iPhone. I’m Already Thinking of Returning It.

Scotland Is Just the Beginning. Expect More Political Earthquakes in Europe.

Students Aren’t Going to College Football Games as Much Anymore

And schools are getting worried.

Two Damn Good, Very Different Movies About Soldiers Returning From War

The XX Factor

Lifetime Didn’t Think the Steubenville Rape Case Was Dramatic Enough

So they added a little self-immolation.


Blacks Don’t Have a Corporal Punishment Problem

Americans do. But when blacks exhibit the same behaviors as others, it becomes part of a greater black pathology. 

Why a Sketch of Chelsea Manning Is Stirring Up Controversy

How Worried Should Poland, the Baltic States, and Georgia Be About a Russian Invasion?

Trending News Channel
Sept. 19 2014 1:11 PM Watch Flashes of Lightning Created in a Lab  
  News & Politics
Sept. 20 2014 11:13 AM -30-
Business Insider
Sept. 20 2014 6:30 AM The Man Making Bill Gates Richer
Sept. 20 2014 7:27 AM How Do Plants Grow Aboard the International Space Station?
  Double X
The XX Factor
Sept. 19 2014 4:58 PM Steubenville Gets the Lifetime Treatment (And a Cheerleader Erupts Into Flames)
  Slate Plus
Slate Picks
Sept. 19 2014 12:00 PM What Happened at Slate This Week? The Slatest editor tells us to read well-informed skepticism, media criticism, and more.
Brow Beat
Sept. 20 2014 3:21 PM “The More You Know (About Black People)” Uses Very Funny PSAs to Condemn Black Stereotypes
Future Tense
Sept. 19 2014 6:31 PM The One Big Problem With the Enormous New iPhone
  Health & Science
Bad Astronomy
Sept. 20 2014 7:00 AM The Shaggy Sun
Sports Nut
Sept. 18 2014 11:42 AM Grandmaster Clash One of the most amazing feats in chess history just happened, and no one noticed.