The Impeach-O-Meter is a wildly subjective and speculative daily estimate of the likelihood that Donald Trump leaves office before his term ends, whether by being impeached (and convicted) or by resigning under threat of same.

The latest reality mind-melt from the Trump administration came Friday with the release of the U.S. government’s interagency National Climate Assessment that offers a sobering glimpse into the causes and effects of Earth’s changing climate. The short version of the nearly 500-page long report is: humans are screwed and it’s scientifically our own fault!

The report, compiled by 13 federal agencies, found that since the start of the 20^th century global average temperatures have risen 1.8 degrees Fahrenheit, impacting large swaths of human life in the U.S. and beyond. “It is extremely likely that human influence has been the dominant cause of the observed warming since the mid-20th century,” the report reads. “For the warming over the last century, there is no convincing alternative explanation supported by the extent of the observational evidence.”

Among the more dire warnings is the assessment’s finding that “there is no climate analog for this century at any time in at least the last 50 million years” and that unforeseen climate tipping points could lead to “new states that are very different from those experienced in the recent past.”

Meanwhile, here are the climate change-related public positions of the Trump administration, which OK’d the release of the congressionally mandated report.

• Our fearless leader, President Trump, as he glugs a glass of fresh, clean coal:

• Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Scott Pruitt has claimed that carbon dioxide is not a primary contributor to global warming, while the EPA has ordered the removal of references to climate change from its website.
• Energy Secretary Rick Perry thinks “climate change is real and humans ‘have an impact on it,’ but that ‘the science is out on’ whether humans cause 100% of it.” (via Axios)
  

All of this smartness from an administration that is currently working to pave the U.S. into a parking lot. “The report comes as Trump and members of his Cabinet are working to promote U.S. fossil-fuel production and repeal several federal rules aimed at curbing the nation’s carbon output, including ones limiting greenhouse-gas emissions from existing power plants, oil and gas operations on federal land and carbon emissions from cars and trucks,” the Washington Post reports.

Sorry, rest of the world. We’ll always have Paris. But a handful of random American guys born in the 1940s and 50s with unrelated college degrees have some thoughts on the future of the world. Since we can’t impeach all the normal people, perhaps there’s one that could go?

Boom. I’ll show you frisky, Mathis-Lilley. Let’s do this. Back at 60 percent, baby.