A recent ruling by an appeals board for the Department of Health and Human Services that would allow Medicare to cover gender reassignment surgery for transgender individuals is a step too far, according to self-acknowledged “cis hetero Nazi scum” Stephen Colbert. In a segment that aired last night, Colbert longed for a time when “the genders were clearly defined.” “One was the bread-winner, pants-wearer, and channel-changer-haver,” he blissfully recalled, while “the other was nurturer, emotion-haver, and was triangle shaped.”

But no more. With this change, now even old people are in danger of the transgender lobby’s powers of transformation—as Colbert warns, soon enough the AARP will be the LGBTAARP. Watch the video for more, including a discussion of how “disturbing” Colbert finds “the idea of nana and pe-paw playing Mr. Potato Head downtown.”