Jimmy Kimmel on Roy Moore’s “Christian values.”

Jimmy Kimmel Teaches Roy Moore a Thing or Two About “Christian Values”

Jimmy Kimmel Teaches Roy Moore a Thing or Two About “Christian Values”

Brow Beat has moved! You can find new stories here.
Brow Beat
Slate's Culture Blog
Dec. 1 2017 11:58 AM

Jimmy Kimmel Teaches Roy Moore a Thing or Two About “Christian Values”

Roy Moore issued the invitation, and now Jimmy Christian Kimmel is accepting it.

Still taken from the video

Jimmy Kimmel’s Twitter war with Alabama senate candidate Roy Moore is heating up. It all started when Jimmy Kimmel Live sent Jake Byrd, a fictional character who has appeared on the show before, to crash Moore’s speech at the Magnolia Springs Baptist Church, posing as a fake fan. “Does that look like the face of a child molester?” heckled Byrd in mock-support, before being escorted from the premises.

Moore, who is known as a possible child molester but is not known for having a great sense of humor, responded to the speech-crasher by tweeting at Kimmel, which led to this back-and-forth:


As it turns out, the “Christian values” route was probably not the right approach for Moore to attack the late night host. Kimmel responded to Moore’s invitation on his show on Thursday night, offering to meet the Republican candidate at the mall with some high school cheerleaders in tow: “If, when the girls and I show up, if you can control yourself, if you can somehow manage to keep Little Roy in your little cowboy pants […] you and I will sit down at the food court, we’ll have a little Panda Express, and we’ll talk about Christian values.”

Kimmel went on to explain that he’s a confirmed Catholic who prays, attends church, and is best friends with a priest. “Christian is actually my middle name—I know that’s shocking, but it’s true,” he said. He then schooled Moore on what his “Christian values” look like compared to Moore’s:

If you’re open to it, when we sit down, I’ll share with you what I learned at my church. At my church, forcing yourself on underage girls is a no-no. Some even consider it to be a sin. Not that you did that, of course. Allegedly. But when you commit a sin at our church, we’re encouraged to confess and ask forgiveness for the sin. Not to call the women you allegedly victimized liars and damage them even more. But maybe your church is different. Let’s figure it out together.
Or maybe when you say, “Come down to Alabama and we’ll do it man to man,” that means you’re challenging me to a fight, which is kind of what it sounds like. And if you are, I accept, by the way. There is no one I would rather fight than you. I would put my Christian values aside just for you and for that fight. Here’s what we’ll do, we’ll find a place to do it, I’ll wear a Girl Scout uniform so you have something to get excited about, and the winner will give all the money we charge for tickets to charity. My charity will be the women who say you molested them.

As for the accusation that Hollywood hates the south? “We don’t hate Alabama,” said Kimmel. “We love Alabama so much that we sent Reese Witherspoon to make a movie about you. We just don’t like alleged child molesters, and we just hope you can see your way clear to not electing one to the senate of the United States of America.”

Marissa Martinelli is a Slate editorial assistant.