The Trumps continue to demonstrate their relatability to everyday, ordinary Americans—just take Donald Trump Jr., who got into the spirit of Halloween this year the way so many of us do, by getting dressed up, eating too much candy, and politicizing our child’s Trick-or-Treating experience:
I’m going to take half of Chloe’s candy tonight & give it to some kid who sat at home. It’s never to early to teach her about socialism. pic.twitter.com/3ie9C0jv2G— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) October 31, 2017
There is just so much wrong with the “lesson” Donald Jr. is touting—chiefly, the idea that his daughter somehow earned her candy when Halloween candy is literally the definition of a handout—but Stephen Colbert took a more compassionate approach in his criticism on The Late Show. “It’s never too early to teach kids the dangers of sharing,” he joked, before pointing out that any hypothetical kid who sat at home on Halloween probably deserves our sympathy. “Is he okay? Is that child caring for a sick parent?”
Colbert and Donald Jr. can agree on one thing: Candy is an excellent way to teach people about socialism. Colbert demonstrated with a lesson of his own. “For instance, you, Junior (Mints), were born with many 100 Grands on 5th Avenue,” he said. “Now Americans find themselves be-Twix-t two choices, both of which Blow (Pop)—wealth redistribution or empower a nutrageous demagogue by handing him the Warheads.”
Those are solid puns, but there’s really only one word to describe Donald Jr., and they don’t usually print it on a candy bar.