If there is one man who would know how to grow pizza on trees, it is Nick Offerman. And indeed, in a new parody from Funny or Die, Offerman films a PSA from his sunny, idyllic pizza farm, “where we’re hard at work growing the ripe, juicy pizzas your kids love.”

“What could be healthier than this?” asks Offerman as “food expert” Daniel Frances. “Acres of pizza, kissed by the sun, stretching as far as the eye can see.” It’s not just a crop of fresh pepperoni—this farm has it all, including taquito trees, Sloppy Joes sprouting from the dirt, and fish fingers dangling from bushes. These crops are extra hearty because they’re watered with Cola.