For all the months and months of rumors about Star Wars Episode VII, it’s remarkable how little we actually know. Back in April, there was the initial announcement of the cast, and then in June, the additions of Lupita Nyong’o and Gwendoline Christie. Aside from that casting news, almost nothing has been confirmed. The rumors—mostly from sites like Latino Review that are often right but also sometimes wrong—come from unnamed sources. And even the substance of the gossip is often utterly generic. Last week the latest was that the main villain is “tall and thin and terrifyingly creepy” (as opposed to the villains who are not creepy?) “with glowing red eyes to match his red lightsaber.” In other words, he’s sort of like Vader, and Darth Maul, and nearly every other Star Wars villain. As Indiewire’s Sam Adams tweeted, “I have it on good authority EPISODE VII will include both Stars and Wars.”
So why not join in on the fun? Now you, too, can spread speculation, using the generator above. You may look at the source and think “I have a bad feeling about this”—but that shouldn’t stop you from spreading some gossip! May the force—of hearsay—be with you.