Back when he was at Vulture, my Slate colleague Dan Kois argued that people who don't watch TV shows when they first air, "but still demand that we respect their right to remain strategically ignorant, are the real spoilers—the ones whose slow pace keep us from enjoying the postshow discussion as much as we enjoy the shows themselves."
I agree, more or less. And so, it seems, do Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein of Portlandia, as evidenced by the great skit from Season 3 (which begins Friday) below. There are some real (non-Portlandia) spoilers in this clip, so don't watch it if, for instance, you still insist on not knowing what happens in Usual Suspects or on the fifth season of The Wire.
TODAY IN SLATE
The Budget Disaster that Sabotaged the WHO’s Response to Ebola
Are the Attacks in Canada a Sign of ISIS on the Rise in the West?
PowerPoint Is the Worst, and Now It’s the Latest Way to Hack Into Your Computer
Everything You Should Know About Today’s Eclipse
Fascinating Maps Based on Reddit, Craigslist, and OkCupid Data
Welcome to 13th Grade!
Some high schools are offering a fifth year. That’s a great idea.
The Actual World
“Mount Thoreau” and the naming of things in the wilderness.