Babyland General Hospital, Where You Can Witness Bizarre Births

Atlas Obscura
Your Guide to the World's Hidden Wonders
March 14 2014 12:02 PM

Babyland General Hospital, Where Newborns Emerge From Cabbages

Atlas Obscura on Slate is a blog about the world's hidden wonders. Like us on Facebook, Tumblr, or follow us on Twitter @atlasobscura.

If your kids are asking where babies come from but you just can't bear to pollute their innocent minds with talk of S-E-X, head on down to Cleveland, Georgia. There you'll find Babyland General Hospital, a sprawling manor where you can watch a baby being born — out of a cabbage.

Babyland is a cunningly conceptualized showroom for Cabbage Patch Kids, the chubby-faced dolls that became a huge fad in the '80s. It was very clever marketing: the dolls were treated like real babies. You couldn't just buy one, you had to go through an "adoption procedure," during which you received a birth certificate with your new child's name on it.

Advertisement

Babyland General is the hub for adoptions, and the "live births" are a big part of the experience. Every half-hour or so, an employee dressed as a doctor or nurse gets on the PA and announces that there is a "Code Green." This means that Mother Cabbage is in labor and it's time to head to the magical crystal tree to watch a baby being born.

The birthing process lasts under three minutes. A "nurse" in scrubs and latex gloves stands among the cabbages and tells the crowd that Mother Cabbage has dilated "the full 10 leaves apart." As the crystals at the base of the tree begin to glow, the nurse gives the cabbage a shot of "Imagicillin" and announces that she will be performing an "easiotomy" (as opposed to a c-section, which naturally stands for "cabbage section").

The nurse gently spreads the cabbage leaves, reaches in her gloved hands, and slowly pulls out a naked doll. The kids in the crowd murmur, gasp, and applaud. Somewhere far in the distance, a sex educator sighs. The new Cabbage Patch Kid is wrapped in a blanket and the nurse asks for someone in the audience to name her. Newborn Makayla Bella then gets taken for a check-up, after which she is ready for adoption.

Want to experience the magic but can't take a road trip to Georgia this weekend? Here's a video of a live birth: 

More dolls to weird you out:


View Babyland General Hospital in a larger map

TODAY IN SLATE

Politics

The Irritating Confidante

John Dickerson on Ben Bradlee’s fascinating relationship with John F. Kennedy.

My Father Invented Social Networking at a Girls’ Reform School in the 1930s

Renée Zellweger’s New Face Is Too Real

Sleater-Kinney Was Once America’s Best Rock Band

Can it be again?

The All The President’s Men Scene That Captured Ben Bradlee

Medical Examiner

Is It Better to Be a Hero Like Batman?

Or an altruist like Bruce Wayne?

Technology

Driving in Circles

The autonomous Google car may never actually happen.

The World’s Human Rights Violators Are Signatories on the World’s Human Rights Treaties

How Punctual Are Germans?

  News & Politics
Politics
Oct. 22 2014 12:44 AM We Need More Ben Bradlees His relationship with John F. Kennedy shows what’s missing from today’s Washington journalism.
  Business
Moneybox
Oct. 21 2014 5:57 PM Soda and Fries Have Lost Their Charm for Both Consumers and Investors
  Life
The Vault
Oct. 21 2014 2:23 PM A Data-Packed Map of American Immigration in 1903
  Double X
The XX Factor
Oct. 21 2014 3:03 PM Renée Zellweger’s New Face Is Too Real
  Slate Plus
Behind the Scenes
Oct. 21 2014 1:02 PM Where Are Slate Plus Members From? This Weird Cartogram Explains. A weird-looking cartogram of Slate Plus memberships by state.
  Arts
Brow Beat
Oct. 21 2014 9:42 PM The All The President’s Men Scene That Perfectly Captured Ben Bradlee’s Genius
  Technology
Technology
Oct. 21 2014 11:44 PM Driving in Circles The autonomous Google car may never actually happen.
  Health & Science
Climate Desk
Oct. 21 2014 11:53 AM Taking Research for Granted Texas Republican Lamar Smith continues his crusade against independence in science.
  Sports
Sports Nut
Oct. 20 2014 5:09 PM Keepaway, on Three. Ready—Break! On his record-breaking touchdown pass, Peyton Manning couldn’t even leave the celebration to chance.