What's wrong with Carol Costello?
Broadcast-quality blond hair demands submission to a painful, stinky, and boring chemical process. And it's a never-ending chore. You can't permanently color hair the way you can LASIK eyes, tattoo eyelids, or lift a face. At the rate the TV peroxide war is moving, the next generation of broadcasters will sport hair whiter than Johnny Winter's. Soon, network executives will concede that they cast anchors the way Hollywood used to cast stars: Find a beauty and make her blonder. (By the way, am I the only TV pervert to notice the rising number of sweater-clad newscasters? Specifically, I'm thinking MSNBC's Amy Robach and CNN's Susan Hendricks, but many examples abound.)
If female beauties must read our news to us, what, pray tell, is wrong with giving the task to brunettes like CNN's Carol Costello? Someday we'll look back at the chemical blonding of hundreds of newscasters as a torture on the order of foot-binding in China. Say, you don't suppose Costello has her highlights done, do you?