The Secret Service's new Twitter feed: what to expect from this most clandestine of tweeting agencies.

Dubious and far-fetched ideas.
May 10 2011 2:11 PM

Tackling a Person of Interest

What to expect from the Secret Service's new Twitter feed.

This week, a new federal agency took to Twitter: the United States Secret ServiceSlate has managed to secure a preview of upcoming, soon-to-be-declassified content from this most clandestine of tweeting agencies—for your eyes only.

logo

SecretService U.S. Secret Service

Enjoying morning in undisclosed location.
10:05 a.m.

logoSecretService U.S. Secret Service

Tackling person of interest in undisclosed location.
10:07 a.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Performing a classified act.
10:10 a.m

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Performing a classified act.
10:19 a.m

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

@ PressSec TMI.
10:25 a.m

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Using some judo on some counterfeiters!
10:47 a.m

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Renegade is secure.
10:07 a.m

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Renegade is secure.
11:18 a.m

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Renegade is on the move.
11:30 a.m

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Renegade is secure.
11:41 a.m

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Waiting outside men's room.
11:47 a.m

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

@ JoeBiden Stop that. We can see you doing that.
11:51 a.m

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Waiting outside men's room.
11:55 a.m

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Dialing my ear phone on my other phone. # ImportantBusiness
12:02 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Speaking into wrist: 'Whan that Aprille ...'
12:07 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Hands crossed, standing still, feeling good.
12:14 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Doing various top-secret things.
12:35 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Eating a sandwich through my sleeve.
1:30 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Escorting Renaissance to undisclosed vegetable location.
2:00 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Tackling a zucchini.
2:00 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Zucchini cleared.
2:03 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Escorting Renaissance to undisclosed small-children school.
2:25 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Child of interest brandishing scissors.
2:34 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Tackling child of interest.
2:35 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Nerve-pinching child into temporary paralysis.
2:34 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Child whimpering, cleared.
2:34 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Hands crossed, standing still, feeling good.
2:45 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Running really fast.
3:01 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Running not so fast.
3:05 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Still running, eating undisclosed Larabar from sleeve.
3:11 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

Hands crossed, standing still, feeling good.
3:15 p.m.

logoSecretServiceU.S. Secret Service

At ease.
3:30 p.m.

Nathan Heller is staff writer for The New Yorker and a film and TV critic for Vogue. You can follow him on Twitter.

  Slate Plus
Working
Nov. 27 2014 12:31 PM Slate’s Working Podcast: Episode 11 Transcript Read what David Plotz asked a helicopter paramedic about his workday.