I want my marriage to be more like a fairy tale. What should I do?

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Dear Prudence,
I have been married for over a year now. I love my husband very much, we enjoy each other's company, and I never worry that he would cheat. I have a young child from a previous marriage he treats as his own. My husband is not close to his family and rarely speaks to them—he had a pretty awful childhood with parents who fought often. He is a very quiet man who rarely shows emotion. I've tried to talk to him about this before. His usual response is, "I don't know what to say." He tells me he loves me all the time and that I'm beautiful, but I truly feel that if I left tomorrow, he wouldn't think twice about it. I'm not sure he would fight for me if it came down to it. This hurts me deeply because I love him so much and would do anything for him. He travels often for business and it doesn't seem to bother him being away from me. I want to be needed and loved by him so badly. Am I selfish to want this? Perhaps I am just looking for the fairy-tale love story where the prince would die without his princess. Am I overthinking this, or should I re-evaluate our marriage? I have suggested counseling to him, but he refuses to go.

—Wanting a Prince

Dear Wanting,
I think counseling could be a good idea—for you. You're married to a prince of a guy who, by your own account, tells you he loves you and shows it in every way possible, yet you're acting like a spoiled princess. I assume you don't want him to come home and jump for joy on the couch at the sight of you, or call from the road crying like some homesick camper, saying he can't stand to be away from you. You say you're not sure he would fight for you—but I'm not sure what you mean by that. I hope you don't mean that you want to make him jealous simply to get a rise out of him. Did you notice when you were dating that he was quiet and not particularly emotionally expressive? Perhaps if you stop demanding he be more demonstrative than makes him comfortable, if you let him just relax into this marriage, you will get more from him. You've already had one marriage fail. I assume that taught you a successful, adult relationship is not a fairy-tale love story. (Did that failure have something to do with your unrealistic expectations?) Be grateful you've found someone so wonderful, and if you can't let go of your fantasies, hash them out with a therapist.

—Prudie

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Dear Prudence,
I have been dating a very nice guy, "John," on and off for the last year or so. Our relationship is not very serious, and we have not agreed to be exclusive (although neither of us has dated anyone else recently) because we're both young (24 and 25) and focusing on our careers right now. Recently, I ran into a very close friend of John's at a bar, and we hung out for a while and had a drink. He offered to walk me home, but on the way, he made several passes at me and even tried to grope me. I attributed his behavior to alcohol and tried to just brush it off, but he wouldn't stop. I actually had to twist his arms and force him into a submission hold to get him to calm down. I made it home safely, and I've seen him twice since then and nothing untoward happened. I'm struggling with whether I should tell John. I can't shake the feeling that if I wasn't athletically inclined, the night could have turned out a lot worse. At the same time, they're very close friends, and he could have just been belligerent because he was drinking. I really don't want to cause a rift between them. Should I just let it go?

—Desdemona

Dear Desdemona,
If you have to do an imitation of Michelle Yeoh in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to avoid being raped, your boyfriend's friend has a serious problem. Yes, I think you should tell John. You can explain that you aren't looking for him to confront his friend in a "keep your hands off my woman" way (although he can certainly throw that in). But you want him to tell his friend that what he did indicates he has a serious drinking and aggression problem he needs to address right away, before he gets in deep trouble. It doesn't matter if his belligerence was fueled by alcohol; this guy is a menace. And if the friend doesn't apologize and get control of his behavior, then it should cause a rift.