Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com.
Dear Prudence,
Over the past several years it has evidently become fashionable for restaurants to have all their servers march out singing birthday greetings to customers. Am I the only person who finds this intolerable? I've stopped going to restaurants that follow this custom if I can avoid them. (My wife likes the food at some of these places, so compromises must be made.) The noise makes conversation impossible, and I can't help but wonder if that's my meal being ignored in the kitchen during the song.
Am I being petty? Shouldn't servers be respectful of all customers? What can be done?
--BH
Honey, get a grip. Prudie just sang "Happy Birthday" to herself: It takes 11 seconds. If it is your meal being ignored for roughly one fifth of a minute, Prudie does not think the delay will harm the flavor. Let Prudie hasten to add that she, too, finds the wait staff singing the birthday song rather hokey and believes that the only people who dislike it more than you and I are the "honorees." It is always embarrassing, but certainly not worth the boycott of a good restaurant. Prudie thinks you need to hook up your sense of humor to your tolerance mechanism and find something really objectionable to dislike ... such as the "suggested" tip printed on the bill.
--Prudie, proportionately
A Note From Prudie: What kids call grown-ups is still riling some readers, so here is a knock for Prudie that was at least civil.
Dear Prudie,
You stated, "It sounds to Prudie as though you and your spouse are a little more formal than the times," when a writer suggested that he felt children should address adults in a more formal manner than using their first names. You may be correct that they may be out of touch with current (rude) customs of our society. In my day, children were taught respect for their elders, and one of the methods used was form of address. Today, the television and the mall do the job that once was the purview of parents. Back then we had no guns in high schools, no drive-by shootings, no graffiti on the walls, etc. I, for one, am glad that I was raised by parents who had a value system. I still get up when a woman enters the room, open a door for her, and offer my seat on a bus. Somehow I am happy to be too formal for "your" society.
