Drawing upon her rich experience of life, Prudence (Prudie to her friends) responds to questions about manners, personal relations, politics, and other subjects. Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Queries should not exceed 200 words in length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably including your location.

Dear Prudie,

My girlfriend is intelligent, attractive, and affectionate. Maybe too affectionate. When we're eating in public she likes to play footsie under the table. That would be OK--I enjoy playing footsie--but she likes to tease me by digging her heel into my bare toes (I usually wear sandals), often when I'm ordering. She then watches me squirm to appear nonchalant in front of our server. My question is this: How do I gently ask her to "play nice" without hurting her feelings?

--Ouch! That Hurts!

Dear Ouch!

Without hurting her feelings? It sounds to Prudie like your dominatrix friend is passive-aggressive, with only a tiny quotient of the passive.

Prudie does not like to be bossy, but she strongly suggests you do the following, since she divines you are not going to change your shoes. Next time Miss Intelligent, Attractive, and Affectionate decides to stab you with her heel, scream bloody murder--and don't hold back. You will attract momentary attention from the other diners, but it will be worth it. (This maneuver is called sending her neurosis back to her.) If the darling girl asks why you have never hollered before, simply tell her you were not interested in playing her games, but now you are.

--Prudie, poetically

Dearest Prudence,

How may a proper person handle the delicate matter of bad breath when happenstance forces one into consulting with someone on the boss' staff? I don't mean to be indelicate, but "retching" was very close at hand when that person talked. Prudie, this vile odor was beyond belief!