Drawing upon her rich experience of life, Prudence (Prudie to her friends) responds to questions about manners, personal relations, politics, and other subjects. Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Queries should not exceed 200 words in length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably including your location.

Dear Prudie,

Please don't laugh. I have a dilemma about being a house guest. It is to flush or not to flush. When I stayed with an old schoolmate on a business trip, it was in her small apartment with only one bathroom. Her room was on one side of the loo, and mine was on the other. I had to go to the bathroom in the early dawn and was torn about whether to risk waking her with the noise of the flush or protecting the silence (and trying to catch up with it in the morning, before she did).

What would Prudie advise?

--Hamlet in the WC

Dear Ham,

Prudie is not laughing, she is merely smiling with recognition, having had to consider the same question on occasion. Decorum and politesse dictate that you opt for the flush. An exception might be if your host or hostess has mentioned being an extremely light sleeper who, once awakened, is unable to fall back asleep. An alternative if you simply can't bring yourself to push the handle down in the middle of the night would be to put a Post-It note on the closed lid advising, "Please flush." Admittedly this may call for more wakefulness than one may have given the hour and the circumstance. If you choose silence and can't deal with the Post-It note, mention your concerns the next morning.

--Prudie, unflushingly

Dear Prudie,

How long should you date a man before deciding if he is right for you?