Drawing upon her rich experience of life, Prudence (Prudie to her friends) responds to questions about manners, personal relations, politics, and other subjects. Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Queries should not exceed 200 words in length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably including your location.

Dear Miss Prudence,

I am recently married, and like most Southern girls, I have looked forward to being addressed as "Mrs." for some time. Imagine my surprise when I found that my mail, instead of being addressed to "Mrs. John Smith," is now being addressed to "Mrs. Amanda Smith." Since I always thought that form of address was reserved for divorced women, I'm a bit put out to have my new marriage so abruptly terminated, at least as it relates to correspondence.

I'm assuming this is some misguided attempt to preserve my individuality, but if that were my goal I would have kept my maiden name. Am I completely misinformed? If not, how can I correct the problem?

--Proudly, Mrs. John Smith (nee Hightower)

Dear Proud,

Prudie couldn't agree with you more--and she is on the other side of the Mason-Dixon line. Prudie also finds the appellation "Ms." ridiculous and crosses it out whenever possible, believing that single women are "Miss" and married ones are "Mrs." (The nice thing about divorce is that then you get to choose between the two forms of address.)

As for correcting the problem, when a response is called for, cross out the offending form of your name and write in what you would prefer. Some mailings, often from charities, offer the choice of Miss, Mrs., or Ms. And of course your printed envelopes can say "Mrs. John Smith."

As for mailings from entities such as Publishers Clearing House that frequently send material to dogs and toddlers, there is no recourse.

--Prudie, salutatorally