Drawing upon her rich experience of life, Prudence (Prudie to her friends) responds to questions about manners, personal relations, politics, and other subjects. Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Queries should not exceed 200 words in length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably including your location.

Dear P.,

There is another bald, black guy in sales in my company. He's located in Florida. Whenever I attend a quarterly sales meeting, there are inevitably several people who don't know me who start talking about how they love Florida. I politely tell them I live in California, but I get very irritated. As much as I love Mad magazine's "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions," I can never bring myself to snap at these retards. In the end, the frustration is mine, when it's they who should be apologizing. Can you offer me some wit to help diffuse these situations?

--Still Black, Still ShavingLos Angeles

Dear Still,

Your letter comes at a cosmic time for Prudie, who recently made the mistake you write about. Having been on the wrong end of the situation, let Prudie point out that such mistakes come from unfamiliarity, perhaps thoughtlessness, but not bigotry.

The rejoinder Prudie suggests is, granted, an old standby, but it defuses the situation and everybody gets the message. It is what a prominent black academic said when Prudie greeted him by another gentleman's name: "We all look alike."

It was said with wry humor, and Prudie felt about as tall as a toadstool and will never again be careless in her address, which is, after all, what you're after, isn't it?

--Prudie, penitently

Dear Prudie,