Drawing upon her rich experience of life, Prudence (Prudie to her friends) responds to questions about manners, personal relations, politics, and other subjects. Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Queries should not exceed 200 words in length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably including your location.
Dear Prudence,
The words sex, impotence, and Viagra are certainly very public today, therefore I feel comfortable writing this. I am a male in my 60s. Five years ago I had a radical prostate operation that left me impotent. During this time my wife used other men to satisfy her sexual needs. I recently obtained some Viagra, and it works for me. Self-satisfaction was required to prove this, as my wife has chosen not to participate. I now face the following problem: My sexual desires have been restored, but to act on them will require my involvement with women other than my wife, who does not see things this way. I think I should do as she did. Do you have an opinion on this?
--Ed in Washington
Dear Ed,
Prudie is fanning herself. Let's see if she has understood this: When you were impotent your wife was on the town, as it were. Now that you are operative she is not a willing partner but has decreed that you may not see other women.
Prudie certainly does have an opinion. It is that your wife is a four-door, gold-plated harridan who most likely is using you as either a bed and breakfast or a bank. Her stepping out then forbidding you to do so, even though she is an unwilling sex partner, makes her sound like a perfect candidate for the single life. Prudie suggests you take your newly operative self to a divorce lawyer and after that find a nice woman who genuinely cares about you.
--Prudie, potently
Dear Prudence,
Please help me. I am 18 years old and face a serious problem. I am addicted to thinking about sex. Every time I do something--watch television, play tennis, swim, take a bath--all I can think about is sex. I am even distracted from studying. I open the book, read a little, then whoosh, all these thoughts about having sex start pouring in from everywhere.
