Drawing upon her rich experience of life, Prudence (Prudie to her friends) responds to questions about manners, personal relations, politics, and other subjects. Please send your questions for publication to prudence@slate.com. Queries should not exceed 200 words in length. Please indicate how you wish your letter to be signed, preferably including your location.

Dear Prudie,

I hope you don't find this too personal or indelicate a subject for public consumption, but I am in a dilemma about a relationship.

I am divorced, mid-30s, with one child. A while ago I started to see an older man (he is 50) who is very taken with me and genuinely likes my son. He is starting to think long-term, but my reservation is that he is iffy in the boudoir department. Do you think this is a legitimate consideration, or am I being sappy?

--In a dither in Boston

Dear In,

Unfortunately, you do not define what you mean by "iffy." Do you mean he is putting off going to bed, so you wonder if he has declared his major? Or do you mean you've already been to bed and are thinking you could put up with this if he were a billionaire?

No matter. Prudie's advice would probably be the same for either situation: You must determine the importance of sex in your life. You are still young, so you can afford some more looking time. On the other hand, you may already have run through a number of klinkers and determined that it's a jungle out there.

You can't go wrong giving it more time to see how things develop. Prudie does not wish to sound like a Ouija board or the thing in the cookie, but time reveals much.

--Prudie, patiently