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A jury acquitted former Agriculture Secretary Mike Espy of all 30 counts in his corruption trial. Everyone agrees on the reasons: The individual value of the gifts Espy received (from businesspeople under his regulatory purview) was small, and there was no evidence Espy had done favors in exchange. Espy, editorialists, and political analysts called the verdict a rebuke to Independent Counsel Donald Smaltz, who had brought the case, and to the whole independent counsel statute. The spins, in order of descending volume: 1) Smaltz's "four year, $17 million investigation," coupled with the Starr investigation of Clinton, proves that the independent counsel law should be thrown out. 2) On the other hand, it's true that Espy held government ethics rules in contempt and that Smaltz's convictions of Espy's benefactors may deter future bribery attempts. 3) Since the bribe givers were convicted but the bribe taker was acquitted, the lesson is that it's better to receive than to give. (12/4/98)

Martin Gurule, the only escapee from Texas' death row in the past 60 years, is dead. In an amazing Thanksgiving Day escape, he and six other inmates built decoys in their beds to fool prison guards, used a 2 inch piece of hacksaw blade to open a chain-link fence, climbed onto a roof, ink-stained their prison uniforms to make themselves less visible, waited for incoming fog, and ran for the prison's two outer fences. Gurule scaled the two 10 foot fences despite gunfire from the guard towers, and he survived the fences' razor wire thanks to a sheet of cardboard he had wrapped around himself. After a six day manhunt, he was found floating in a nearby creek, evidently having drowned in the current. The spins, in order of descending propriety: 1) Thank goodness the public is now safe. 2) Gurule has ruined life for other Texas death row prisoners, who will now lose their working, socializing, and recreation privileges. 3) Dang, they caught him. 4) Let this be a lesson, kids: Learn to swim. (12/4/98)

The House Judiciary Committee reversed its decision to add the campaign finance scandal to the impeachment inquiry. Earlier in the week, Republicans subpoenaed testimony and documents from Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr, FBI Director Louis Freeh, and others to determine whether President Clinton's fund raising violated criminal laws. Democrats declared that the Republicans had gone nuts. Editorialists and some Republicans agreed, noting the finance scandal had been and was being investigated by other, more suitable, agencies. On Thursday, Chairman Henry Hyde, R-Ill., said the committee would drop the issue. The spins: 1) The Republicans surrendered to political reality. 2) No, by raising the issue, they shrewdly forced a judge to let them see the notorious memos from Freeh and others to Attorney General Janet Reno, which they figured would reveal a cover-up. Once they saw the memos and determined that there was no evidence of a cover-up, they dropped the issue. 3) In other words, they surrendered to political reality. (12/4/98)

Israel halted its withdrawal from the West Bank after Palestinian rioters attacked two Israelis and burned their car. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu accused Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat of inciting violence and violating the Wye peace implementation accord. Netanyahu demanded that Arafat renounce plans to declare Palestinian statehood in May. Palestinian officials, accusing Netanyahu of manufacturing a crisis to appease Israeli right-wingers, urged the United States to intervene. A U.S. spokesman did so by criticizing Israel's suspension and insisting that the Wye implementation continue. Netanyahu eventually appeased U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright by denying that he was issuing new demands. (For more on the situation in Israel, see Slate's "International Papers") (12/4/98)

Exxon is merging with Mobil to become the world's largest company. Analysts agree this will accelerate the energy industry's consolidation. The spins: 1) The two companies are reconstituting the bad old Standard Oil monopoly. 2) Don't worry, antitrust regulators will nix the merger or force the companies to give up major investments. 3) Both companies' stock fell because investors worry that antitrust regulators will nix the merger or force the companies to give up major investments. 4) Don't worry, the companies are merging not because they're powerful and dangerous but because the oil industry is in trouble. 5) Both companies' stocks fell because investors worry that the companies are merging because the oil industry is in trouble. 6) Good news for consumers: The merger will allow the companies to cut costs. 7) Bad news for workers: They're the costs. (12/2/98)

The Judiciary Committee heard testimony from two women who were convicted and punished for perjury about sex. This was an attempt to underscore the gravity of Clinton's alleged offenses, but pundits remain convinced that even if the House impeaches Clinton, the Senate will not convict him. The spins: 1) House Republicans will impeach Clinton because he has failed to absorb the moral lessons of the scandal. 2) House Republicans will impeach Clinton because they have failed to absorb the political lessons of the scandal. 3) The impeachment vote will fail, and the House will reject censure as a compromise because, while expedient, it's toothless. 4) The House will opt for censure because, while toothless, it's expedient. (12/2/98)

Federal Election Commission auditors concluded that the 1996 Clinton and Dole presidential campaigns violated election laws. According to the audit, ads for Clinton and Dole that pretended to be "issue" ads were really campaign ads and should have been subject to fund-raising and spending restrictions. Under those restrictions, the campaigns should have received less matching funds than they did. The audit's bottom line: The Dole campaign should cough up $17 million, and the Clinton campaign should cough up $7 million. The campaigns say they exploited the current loopholes fair and square, and if the FEC wants to close the loopholes, it should do so in law, not through retroactive fines. The optimistic theory: The FEC commissioners, being Democrats and Republicans, will endorse the audit because it punishes both parties. The pessimistic theory: The FEC commissioners, being Democrats and Republicans, will deep-six the audit because it punishes both parties. (12/2/98)

Deutsche Bank, Germany's biggest bank, is buying Bankers Trust for $10 billion. It is the largest foreign purchase of a U.S. financial institution ever, producing the biggest financial services company in the world in terms of assets ($850 billion). The good news: Top executives of both companies will get multimillion dollar bonuses to keep them in the fold. The bad news: Five thousand five hundred employees, including administrative staff and some managers, will be laid off because their jobs have suddenly become duplicative. (11/30/98)

Attorney General Janet Reno asked a court for 60 more days to decide whether to seek the appointment of an independent counsel to investigate former Clinton aide Harold Ickes in the campaign finance scandal. Reporters complained that Reno has not explained what she would do for those 60 days. Translation: Reporters who have been so desperate for political news that they have been writing speculative stories for days about Reno's decision don't know what they would do for those 60 days. This comes after Reno decided not to seek an independent counsel to investigate whether Vice President Al Gore violated fund-raising laws in the 1996 campaign. Spins on the Gore decision: 1) Reno nixed the investigation because, as she says, "The evidence fails to provide any reasonable basis for a conclusion that the vice president may have lied." 2) She nixed the investigation to protect Clinton and Gore. 3) She nixed it because Kenneth Starr proved that the independent counsel law is bad. 4) She nixed it because Starr proved that the independent counsel law is bad for the Clinton administration. 5) Her decision helps Gore's presidential candidacy by reaffirming his integrity. 6) Her decision helps Gore's presidential candidacy because it would be hard for him to raise money for 2000 while being investigated over how he raised money in 1996. (11/30/98)