Judge Susan Webber Wright dismissed Paula Jones' lawsuit against President Clinton. Wright ruled that a jury need not hear the suit, because Jones had failed to make even a minimal case that 1) Clinton's alleged advance was a sexual assault; 2) the advance subjected her to a hostile working environment; or 3) she had been punished on the job for rebuffing the advance. The Clinton spin: Kenneth Starr should drop his probe, because it's based on depositions in the Jones case, which is now kaput. The technical rebuttal: Starr should keep going, because obstruction of justice is obstruction of justice, regardless of how the case turned out. The political spin: Nobody has the patience for the technical rebuttal. Starr can keep going, but he won't be taken seriously. Cultural spins: 1) Clinton got away with being a cad. 2) Being a cad isn't against the law. 3) All men will now be cads. (William Saletan's "Frame Game" decodes the Jones dismissal. Items from 3/30, below, give you trial news from earlier this week.) (4/3)

Shock jock Howard Stern will host a Saturday night TV show on CBS. Stern's outline: "We'll have sex and nudity and lesbians. We'll interview wackos from all walks of life." Critics call it the next step in the moral degeneration of television, citing South Park and the Jerry Springer Show as the current record holders. Stern's rebuttal: "Late night television is ready for someone like me. ... Standards have gone down to an all-time low, and I'm here to represent it. It's a miracle; I prayed to God for this." A CBS executive cited the media's focus on President Clinton's sex life as a signal that television is ready for Stern. (Do a sleaze check: Read Slate's tabloid roundup and this "Assessment" of Springer.) (4/3)

Attorney General Janet Reno called for a federal investigation of accusations of right-wing financial aid to David Hale, a key Clinton accuser in Starr's Whitewater probe. A woman told the FBI that Hale got cash and other aid from her then-boyfriend, who got $35,000 from the American Spectator, which got over $1 million from foundations run by anti-Clinton mogul Richard Mellon Scaife. The woman also says Hale gave the boyfriend inside information about grand jury proceedings and other elements of Starr's investigation. Several Whitewater convictions hinged on Hale's testimony. Clinton adviser James Carville spins this as possible evidence that Ken Starr has been a right-wing tool. The punch line: Reno may have to assign the investigation of Hale to Starr himself, because it involves alleged tampering with his case. (4/3)

Former Rep. Bella Abzug, D-N.Y., died. Obituaries remembered her as a brave, strong-willed feminist and anti-war activist. The spins: 1) She epitomized New York toughness. 2) She epitomized New York rudeness. 3) She stood by her views, regardless of the polls. 4) She stood by her views, regardless of the facts. 5) She proved women could be as strong as men. 6) She proved women could be as bullheaded as men. 7) Liberal causes eventually became mainstream, though, sadly, she was no longer in the spotlight to reap credit. 8) Liberal causes eventually became mainstream because she was no longer around to embarrass them. (4/1)

Mitchell Johnson, the elder of the two boys charged in last week's Arkansas schoolyard shootings, was already scheduled to be tried on charges that he had molested a 2- or 3-year-old girl, according to the Associated Press. "He did it," Johnson's aunt told the AP. A sheriff's report indicates the boy charged in the molestation--reportedly Johnson--admitted opening his pants and the girl's and touching her sexually. A neighbor says Johnson claimed he was only helping the girl pull up her pants. (For earlier-in-the-week news on the shooting, see the 3/27 Jonesboro item, below.) (4/1)

Republican leaders rigged House voting rules to thwart campaign reform legislation. After learning that the bipartisan Shays-Meehan bill, which would have banned soft money and stiffened disclosure rules, was likely to pass, GOP leaders put their own alternative reform bills on the calendar instead. They also imposed rules to prevent amendments and require a two-thirds "supermajority" for passage. Editorialists accused Gingrich of betraying his famous handshake pledge with Clinton. The first-day spin: The GOP leadership's tactics are outrageous, and campaign reform is dead for the year. The second-day spin: The GOP leadership's tactics are so outrageous they might prompt enough House members to sign a petition to force a real vote on reform. The third-day spin: House members won't join the petition unless the public demands it, which won't happen, because the public has lost its capacity for outrage. (4/1)

A Palestinian Cabinet minister accused Israel of assassinating Hamas' chief bomb maker. The bomber, Mohiyedine Sharif, was found dead in what looked like a car bombing, but Palestinian investigators determined the explosion was a ruse to disguise the fact that he had already been shot to death. Israel had blamed Sharif for last year's bloody suicide bombings in Jerusalem. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu says Israel had nothing to do with Sharif's death. Analysts worry Hamas will launch further attacks to avenge the killing. (For reactions from around the world, see Slate's "International Papers.") (4/1)

Kentucky defeated Utah to win the NCAA men's basketball championship. Before the game, sports pundits hyped Utah as the tournament's Cinderella team, noting that Kentucky had won six championships and finished first and second the last two years. After the game, pundits concluded Utah was bigger and scarier than they had thought, and that Kentucky was the true "storybook" team, having stormed back from a double-digit second-half deficit in each of the final three rounds. Kentucky's first-year coach, Tubby Smith, was lauded for proving once again that a black coach can win. Meanwhile, the Tennessee Lady Vols won the women's tournament for the third straight time. (4/1)

An Iraqi newspaper owned by Saddam Hussein's son reported on its April 1 front page that President Clinton is ready to lift U.N. sanctions against Iraq. The sanctions have caused considerable suffering among Iraqi civilians. On an inside page, the paper said its report was just an April Fool's joke. (4/1)

Paula Jones' lawyers filed a hearsay allegation that then-Arkansas Attorney General Bill Clinton raped a woman 20 years ago. The account is in a 1992 letter from a man claiming to be a friend of the woman's. The White House angrily denies the claim. Newspapers buried the allegation, noting that it was unsigned, uncorroborated, not made under oath, and contradicted by the woman's sworn deposition. But NBC's Meet the Press detailed the story, and Ken Starr has subpoenaed Jones' attorneys for records on it. The early pundit consensus is that 1) this is the most serious charge leveled against Clinton, but it 2) appears baseless so far and 3) was fed by Jones' attorneys to the press just before the weekend talk shows in order to hurt Clinton. (3/30)

Pundits focused instead on the more respectable charge leveled by Jones' lawyers: that Clinton obstructed justice by withholding letters written by Kathleen Willey when Jones' team subpoenaed them in December. (In March, after Willey went on television to accuse Clinton of an unwanted sexual advance, the White House quickly released these letters to rebut the impression that he had offended her.) The Clinton team's defense is that the letters were White House documents, whereas Jones' lawyers had asked only for Clinton's personal correspondence. Pundits agreed that this defense is morally deplorable but legally viable. (3/30)

House Majority Whip Tom DeLay, R-Texas, denounced President Clinton. DeLay said that Clinton 1) "has cheated on his wife" and therefore "will cheat on the American people"; 2) "seems to have no shame, no integrity, no dignity"; and 3) was "attacking his own country in a foreign land" by going to Africa and "apologizing" for U.S. participation in the slave trade. DeLay added that he did not condone slavery. Pundits cited DeLay for 1) escalating the Republican Party's personal attacks on Clinton; 2) violating the etiquette against criticizing the president when he is overseas; and 3) defying the American consensus that slavery merits some kind of apology. (3/30)

Conservative Christian activist Gary Bauer said he plans to set up an exploratory committee ahead of a possible run for president. He spoke at a Republican cattle call for the 2000 election. The early line is that 1) Bauer can't win (because he lacks the necessary looks, name recognition, political experience, and money), but 2) he has enough ground troops and right-wing-establishment clout to tear the GOP apart over abortion and other social issues. Conservative pundits fear Bauer is the sword that Christian-right boss James Dobson will dangle over the GOP to make it do his bidding. (3/30)