Two boys, ages 13 and 11, killed four girls and a teacher in a military-style assault at an Arkansas middle school. Most plausible motive: The elder boy had been dumped by his girlfriend. The boys are being held on murder charges but are too young to be tried as adults, so they must be set free upon turning 18. The Justice Department is fishing for a federal law under which they can be more severely punished. The spin has settled into three camps: 1) Blame guns (the dominant editorial line). 2) Blame society (cultural "experts" are rounding up the usual suspects: deadbeat dads, television violence, video games, and rap music). 3) Fry the kids. The gun banners and lock-'em-up conservatives are edging toward a compromise: Deny kids the gun-owning rights enjoyed by adults, because they're incompetent to manage firearms--but if they commit gun-related crimes, punish them as adults. (3/27)

President Clinton continued his six country tour of Africa. The president drew enthusiastic crowds in Ghana, Uganda, and Rwanda, and local praise for his message of repentance for the world's recent neglect of Africa and past enslavement of Africans. Critics complained the president 1) was on a "guilt trip" aimed in large part at his African-American constituency; 2) included too many fat cat political supporters in his huge entourage; 3) couldn't deliver on his promises of expanded aid and trade; and 4) implied that the United States was now ready to intervene in African civil wars, in contravention of a presidential directive that Clinton himself signed at the height of the Rwandan massacres. (3/27)

U.S. military authorities filed charges against the crew of the Marine jet that severed a cable car wire in Italy. Twenty Europeans died in the incident. The preliminary investigation concluded the crew was flying too fast and too low. The charges include involuntary manslaughter and negligent homicide. A military grand jury will decide whether to have the crew court-martialed. While hoping that its prosecution of the crew will appease Italy, the military wants to make clear that its prosecution is not being influenced by the need to appease Italy. (3/27)

Georgia high-school student Mike Cameron was suspended for wearing a Pepsi shirt at his school's Coke Day rally. The festivities were part of a national contest, sponsored by Coca-Cola, to win $10,000 by devising distribution schemes for the company's discount cards. Students were urged to dress in Coke's colors and were arranged in the shape of the word "COKE." The media pounced on the suspension as a symbol of educational corruption and junk food commercialism run amok. School officials further embarrassed themselves by complaining, without apparent irony, that Cameron was "using" the media. Cameron called his display an affirmation of individualism. Pepsi called it an affirmation of Pepsi. (3/27)

Kremlinologists are trying to figure out what the hell is going on in Russia. Early reports said President Boris Yeltsin had sacked his whole Cabinet, but later reports say the foreign and defense ministers will stay put, and foreign policy won't change. Theories on the sacking: 1) Yeltsin is sending the people a message that if his ministers don't solve the people's woes, they will lose their jobs. 2) Yeltsin decided that Prime Minister Viktor Chernomyrdin had become too strong and dangerous. 3) Yeltsin decided that Chernomyrdin was too weak and couldn't win the election to succeed Yeltsin and carry his program forward. 4) Shadowy tycoon Boris Berezovsky paid Chernomyrdin back for crossing him on a business scheme. Early punditry: Chernomyrdin will attempt a comeback in the next election, pro-capitalist First Deputy Prime Minister Anatoly Chubais was a goner anyway, right-wing Interior Minister Anatoly Kulikov won't be missed, and the new acting Prime Minister Sergei Kiriyenko has no idea what he's doing. (3/25)

Titanic won 11 Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Director. This ties the previous record, set by Ben-Hur. Critics expressed no surprise, declared Titanic a Transcendent Cultural Phenomenon (the last such movie was Forrest Gump in 1994), and anointed its director, James Cameron, the country's top filmmaker. Other awards: Jack Nicholson, Best Actor (As Good As It Gets); Helen Hunt, Best Actress (ditto); Kim Basinger, Best Supporting Actress (L.A. Confidential); and Robin Williams, Best Supporting Actor (Good Will Hunting). Reviews of the awards ceremony lauded emcee Billy Crystal (his best line: "A year ago the White House was complaining there was too much sex in Hollywood"). They also raked Cameron for his narcissistic acceptance speech, in which he proclaimed himself "the king of the world" and subjected everyone to a cliché-laden sermon and a period of silence on behalf of the Titanic's casualties. ("Summary Judgment" gives you the critical spin on the ceremony; David Edelstein gives you his pre- and post-Oscar takes.) (3/25)

California's Supreme Court ruled that the Boy Scouts can exclude gays and agnostics, because it is a private organization. The poster boys for the court challenge were agnostic twin brothers who were barred from their Cub Scout den for refusing to speak the word "God" when they took the Scouts' oath. Gay advocates' spin: The Scouts' policy is discriminatory and teaches prejudice. The brothers' spin: They're being kicked out for refusing to lie, which goes against everything the Scouts claim to stand for. The Scouts' spin: If you don't like the rules, don't join. Legal pundits expect this case or another like it will eventually reach the U.S. Supreme Court. (3/25)

Primary Colors opened. Topic A: Does it hurt or help Clinton? The spins: 1) It helps him by portraying his flaws as the stuff of everyday humanity. 2) It alienates us from him by dramatizing the decadence of power and the ruthlessness of successful politics. 3) It shows how the qualities that make a rascal and ruthless campaigner (ego, appetite, seductive deception) also make a great leader. 4) These qualities don't make a great leader, but we're suckers for them anyway. So the movie isn't about Clinton's weaknesses; it's about ours. 5) Three months ago, this movie would have embarrassed Clinton. Since then, he has so embarrassed himself that satire looks good by comparison. (Read David Edelstein's pan in Slate.) (3/23)

Spectacular comebacks and upsets have narrowed the field in the NCAA men's basketball tournament to the Final Four. 1) Kentucky stormed back from a 17 point deficit in the final 10 minutes to topple Duke in the closing seconds. This avenges the 1992 game in which Duke ousted Kentucky on a miracle basket at the buzzer. 2) With less than a minute to play, Stanford erased a six-point deficit to beat Rhode Island and reach the Final Four for the first time since 1942. 3) Utah eliminated the defending national champion, Arizona, and will face North Carolina. Utah point guard Andre Miller amazed everyone with 18 points, 14 rebounds, and 13 assists. (3/23)

President Clinton joked about his scandals at the annual Gridiron dinner. Best lines: 1) "Please withhold the subpoenas until all the jokes have been told." 2) His jokes "were a whole lot funnier before the lawyers got ahold of them." 3) Sample joke approved by the lawyers: "Knock-knock. ... Don't answer that." Newt Gingrich's riposte: "During this meal the president's job-approval rating will go up six points."(3/23)