The Good Place's restaurant puns are next-level.

This List of Unused Food Puns From The Good Place Is Pretty Forking Amazing

This List of Unused Food Puns From The Good Place Is Pretty Forking Amazing

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Slate's Culture Blog
Sept. 29 2017 12:31 PM

This List of Unused Food Puns From The Good Place Is Pretty Forking Amazing

Better than the rest-aurant.

Colleen Hayes/NBC

One of the delightful aspects of The Good Place is the way it balances elaborate philosophical conundrums with slapstick humor and groan-inducing puns, and both sides of the show were in full flower in last night’s episode, “Dance Dance Resolution.” (The eagle-eyed among you may notice that the title is also a pun.) Written by Megan Amram, who showrunner Michael Schur has identified as the show’s punner-in-chief, the episode found Ted Danson’s Michael rebooting the Good Place—which, as you should know by now, is actually the Bad Place—dozens and eventually hundreds of times, trying to come up with a version in which Eleanor (Kristen Bell) and her fellow afterlife-dwellers don’t eventually figure out that the paradise they’ve been told they’re inhabiting is actually a land of eternal, if subtle, torment.

In one montage,The Good Place showed us the effect Michael’s re-re-reboots have on the Good Place’s town square, which is invariably home to a collection of restaurants that all serve the same thing—first frozen yogurt, then Hawaiian pizza—and are named with food-related puns. There was From Schmear to Eternity, from a version where every restaurant served bagel, Sushi and the Banshees, and, from a pasta-focused Good Place iteration, You Do the Hokey Gnocchi and You Get Yourself Some Food.


It turns out that was just the icing on the cake. Schur says Amram’s original draft of potential restaurant names stretched to “six or seven pages,” and now she’s shared an edited, but not too edited, selection on Twitter. Some of them are great, some of them are terrible, and the best are both great and terrible. It’s just too bad Hominy Korine wasn’t available to direct.


Al Dente on the Western Front

Penne for Your Thoughts


Pasta Expiration Date

Pasta Test

Ramen on Empty

Ramen With Scissors


Return of the Mac… ’N’ Cheese!

I’m Gnocchi-Ding Around

The Pesto’s Yet to Come

Ziti Lights


Ziti of Stars

Willy Lo Mein

Spaetzle Needs

J. Paul Spaghetti



You Do the Hokey Gnocchi and You Eat Yourself Some Foods

Lasagna Come Out Tomorrow

Udon Own Me

Linguine Manuel-Miranda

The Apple Doesn’t Farfalle From the Tree


Cake Cod

Cake Canaveral

HErtz’ Donut

Donut You Want Me Baby

Donut Make My Brown Eyes Blue

Cruller Intentions

The Fertile Croissant

Éclair and Present Danger

Filo and Otis

Filo Yiannopoulos

Macaroon-ey Mara

Pie Another Day

Pie Hard

Pie Antwoord

Strudel the Fence

The Strudel Is Real

Goofus and Galette

Puff Piece: Try Puff Pastry!

Quiche From a Rose

Knish From a Rose

Beignet and the Jets

Muffin But Net

Biscotti Pippen

Biscotti and Meatballs

Bundt in the Oven

I Torte I Saw a Puddy-Tat


Polenta to Go Around

Kiss My Grits … Then Eat Them!

The Maize Runner

The Maize From Westworld

Corn You Dig It?

Ty Corn-on-the-Cobb

Grand Corn-nation

Sufferin’ Succotash

In Perfect Hominy

Hominy Korine

Kernel Sanders


So Sue-Shi

Tamago Never Dies

Roe-Roe-Roe Your Boat

Take My Tempura? Sure!

Tuna Piano

Rice to Meat You

For Goodness’ Sake


Salmon-Bowl Lecter

Seaweed Rabbit — Chopsticks Are for Kids

The Catcher in the RIce

The Ketchup in the Rice

Ponzu Scheme


Toast of the Town

Toast the Rainbow

Loaf of My Life

Second to Naan

Pita Pan

We Ciabatta Zoo

Brioche With Death

Paint Brioche

Crouton a Hot Tin Roof

Matza-Chew-Sitz: A Place You Can Sit and Eat Matzah!

White Baguette Fences

Last But Not Yeast

Yeast Infectch-yum

Focaccia Red Handed

Bread Pit


Squab Goals

Chicken of the Sea of the Land (Chicken)

Pot Pie the Sailor Man

Wings Martinale

Hot Coq au Vin

Ralph Lauren Pollo

Water Pollo (Duck)

Duck Duck Goose

Party Fowl

A Bird in the Hand Is Worth Two in Your Mouth

A View to a Quail

Quail Yourself

I Can Be Your Feather Figure

Chicken Corbin Bleu

Picatta Good Recipe From the Cookbook


Forever in Bleu Cheese

Provolone Again Naturally

Fondue Diligence

Brie Larceny

Colby Maybe


Cheddar Off Dead

Cheddar Off Ted

A Qeuso the Mondays

Richard Gruyere

Camembert-bie Let’s Go Party

A Game of Cheese

Why I Ric-otta


Lady and the Scampi

Sam Adams is a Slate senior editor and the editor of Slate’s culture blog, Brow Beat.