Outward

Ask a Homo: Are You Gay?

Welcome back to Ask a Homo, a judgment-free zone where the gays of Outward answer questions about LGBTQ politics, culture, etiquette, language, and other queer conundrums. In this edition we consider whether it’s ever acceptable to ask someone if they’re gay, or is the polite thing to wait until they self-disclose?

If there are questions you’ve been dying to ask a member of the real rainbow coalition, this is your chance. Send your queries—for publication—to slateoutward@gmail.com, and please put “ASK A HOMO” in the subject line. Note that questions may be edited.

Other Questions Asked of Homos:

Are gayborhoods dying out?
Why do lesbians make out in public? 
Why do some gays not believe in bisexuality?

Should allies signal their support of LGBTQ people to strangers?
Why do so many gay people love Joan Rivers? 
What does queer mean? 
How should I greet a closeted co-worker’s partner?
Why do gay men like musical theater?
Is it OK for straight women to talk about their “girl crushes”?
What was the best time in history to be gay?
Do lesbian couples always reflect a butch-femme dynamic?
Why is bitchiness encouraged among gay men?
What do lesbians think of LUGs—lesbians until graduation?
Why do gay people call themselves queer?
Are gay weddings different from straight ceremonies?
Why do gay men sometimes call each other she?
What’s the deal with tops and bottoms?
Why do lesbians wear so much flannel? 
What’s the deal with the gay lisp? 
Should a straight person frequent a gay bar?