Recently Adam Leibsohn, the COO of the GIF platform Giphy, made his case that GIFs are superior to words as a medium of communication. Could this possibly be true? Slate asked words correspondent Katy Waldman and Internet correspondent Amanda Hess to debate. The rules: Waldman could only use words, and Hess could only use GIFs. Ready … set … GO!

Waldman: Hello, Amanda.

Hess:

Waldman: Can I kick things off with an observation? The Giphy creator who inspired this debate made his argument—that GIFs are better expressive tools than words—using words.

Hess:

Waldman: Do you truly and sincerely believe that GIFs are a more effective mode of communication than words?

Hess:

Waldman: But you’re such an effective writer yourself! Would you want to live in a world where all words are replaced by GIFs?

Hess:

Waldman: I’ll admit that’s potent. But this guy from Giphy was full of it.

Hess:

Waldman: He said that GIFs are more descriptive and more efficient than written language. That makes no sense to me. Words train your attention on particular meanings. An image—you don’t know what the sender is trying to convey.

If someone shows me a GIF of two people kissing, I have no clue whether she’s trying to signify the abstract idea “love,” or the act of “kissing,” or the emotion “happiness,” or what.

Hess:

Waldman: Are you saying you’re tired? Bored? That you are fuzzy and cute? I don’t get it. Be more specific. Use your words!

Hess:

Waldman: Words can be so elegant in their effect, though! How could a GIF convey the message of Mae West, for example, that “those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often”?

Hess:

Waldman: Ha, ha. But you can’t pun without words, right? You can’t GIF “I used to be a banker but I lost interest,” or “I can’t put down this book about anti-gravity.” A GIF can’t mean two things at the same time.

Hess:

Waldman: And what about rhetorical flourishes? With words, you can set up a phrase so it sounds even more authoritative. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.” “Know this.” Or tag it at the end: “And that’s that.” “Don’t you think?” There are endless modulations you can apply to your central message, all at the tiny cost of a few more letters.

Hess:

Waldman: Well, that is a flourish, I’ll give you that. But can GIFs express Marianne Moore’s definition of poetry, which is “imaginary gardens with real toads in them”?

Hess:

Waldman: And proverbs? Can you say “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” in GIF?

Hess:

Waldman: John Maynard Keynes said that words “are the assaults of thoughts on the unthinking.” GIFs are the assault of the unthinking on everyone.

Hess:

Waldman: And verbal language is so much more fun and surprising! I know what a snake looks like. I would much rather have to picture a “whiplash unbraiding in the sun.”

Hess:

Waldman: Yes, yes, GIFs save time. But that’s not time I want saved! I want to hear the music of words in my head. The only reason I can hear RuPaul right now is that your GIF has a caption, cheater!

Hess:

Waldman: And, obviously, words have a lot more tonal range than GIFs, which are mostly good for the visual equivalent of clever one-liners. Can you show me one single GIF that has both triumph and tragedy, or indeed anything other than the simplest of emotions?

Hess:

Waldman: Don’t you feel constrained by the fact that you can’t combine smaller blocks of sense? You’re limited to using other people’s images to convey thoughts and ideas they’ve already had. You’re just recycling—you can't dream up anything new! The best you can hope for is a funny juxtaposition.

Hess:

Waldman: I have to say, Amanda, this is really frustrating! I feel like your writing is so nuanced, and now all I’m getting is a bunch of cheap reaction shots that could have come from anyone a propos of anything. Your individuality is totally lost.  

Hess:

Waldman: I can help! Let the GIFs go. Let them go.

Hess:

Waldman: Escape the Web’s constant need to declare everything old passé and everything new a killer app! Words can remain precious, and GIFs can add spice to conversation.

Hess:

Waldman: You’re welcome. And goodbye.

Hess: