The College Board announced big changes to the SAT this week: no essay requirement, no penalty for wrong answers, and a return to the iconic "1600" perfect score. A perfect score on the Slate news quiz, however, will remain 12 for 12. We tinker with our test a lot less, so it's obviously a more meaningful marker of intelligence. Please grab a No. 2 pencil and begin.

Question 1 of 12

What can not be found in the Crimea, Russian leaders were claiming as late as Wednesday?

Photos of the occupation forces have been circulating all week. "Complete nonsense," said Russia's defense minister.

Question 2 of 12

Under new rules to be implemented in April, all climbers on Mount Everest will be required to do what?

Discarded equipment from past expeditions now litters the peak.

Question 3 of 12

Who actually took the star-studded front-row selfie at the Oscars that shattered the Twitter retweet record this week?

The photo has been retweeted over 2 million times. This demolishes the previous record, a lowly 780,000 retweets, set by Barack Obama (who?) on election night 2012.

Question 4 of 12

What country moved its legislature into a five-star hotel on Monday, the day after dozens of protestors swarmed parliament and set fire to parts of the building?

Question 5 of 12

District of Columbia lawmakers voted Tuesday to decriminalize what in the nation's capital?

Once the mayor signs the bill, possession of less than an ounce of pot will become a civil infraction punishable only by a fine of up to $25.

Question 6 of 12

Sulaiman Abu Ghaith, who went on trial this week in Manhattan, is the son-in-law of what notorious figure?

Abu Ghaith has plead not guilty to charges including conspiracy to kill Americans after the 9/11 attacks.

Question 7 of 12

A new study published Tuesday in the journal Cell Metabolism claimed that what can be just as unhealthy as smoking?

Question 8 of 12

Rachel Canning, a New Jersey high school senior, took her parents to court this week hoping to force them to do what?

A judge denied the request from the teen, whom an independent investigator called "spoiled."

Question 9 of 12

Officials announced Wednesday that the most unpopular provisions of what will not take effect until after the 2016 elections?

Mid-sized employers will be able to keep their employees on plans that don't comply with Obamacare until October 2017, the Treasury Department announced.

Question 10 of 12

In what can't be a good sign for the economy, IBM's once-mighty supercomputer Watson was last spotted doing what?

Watson used its Jeopardy!-proved algorithms to design a "gourmet fusion" menu at a Las Vegas tech conference.

Question 11 of 12

Which Islamist insurgency has killed over 150 Nigerians in attacks over the past week?

Question 12 of 12

On Saturday, a Houston man stabbed a romantic rival with what unusual weapon of choice?

While the sword was only a replica, both men were injured in the fight.