Barack Obama Sent Osama Bin Laden Two Bullets
The final edition of Barack Obama's Facebook Feed.
Posted Friday, May 6, 2011, at 2:32 PM
Click here to see recent feeds.
|Prince William and Kate Middleton changed their relationship status to Married.
Good luck with that!
|America likes the album "Hats!"|
|America is back to hating monarchy.
George Washington likes this.
|Katie Couric added "ABC (2011), Fox (2012), TMZ (2013), and QVC (2014)" to her Work and Education Info.|
|Pope Benedict XVI sent Pope John Paul II a gift: Beautification.|
|The Weather Channel posted an article: "Tornadoes Tear Through the South, Causing Devastation."
General William Tecumseh Sherman likes this.
|Barack Obama posted a photo: "My Long-Form Birth Certificate."
Now we can move onto more important things.
Oh yeah? Like what?
|Osama Bin Laden is enjoying a cold can of Pepsi.|
|Navy SEALs sent Osama Bin Laden a gift: |
|Osama Bin Laden signed off.|
|A Dung Beetle signed on.
The Dalai Lama likes this.
|U.S. Special Operations Forces sent FBI Laboratory a gift: DNA Evidence|
It’s ... it’s not human.
|Fox News posted a video:|
|ABC posted a note: "57 Million Watch Barack Obama’s Bin Laden Address."
Could you do that again tomorrow?
|Rush Limbaugh tagged Barack Obama in a note.
Obama’s speech was nothing but "me, me, me."
Yeah, he should have put on a military uniform and like, stood on a boat with a shit ton of Navy SEALs, and maybe had like a big banner that said "WE DID IT," or something similar.
|United States of America changed its name to USA!|
|Joe Biden "America, fuck yeah." --Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.|
|Barack Obama was tagged in a photo: "Administration Officials Watch Bin Laden Raid."
Actually, this was "Game of Thrones" night.
|Washington Post posted an article: "CIA Recovers Bin Laden Hard Drives, DVDs."
When he said he was waiting for "72 Virgins" to arrive, he wasn't talking about the afterlife.
|White House posted a note: "Osama Bin Laden died a cowardly death in a firefight defending $1 million mansion with swimming pools full of American dollar bills."
Tom Clancy likes this.
|White House posted a note: "CORRECTION: Osama Bin Laden died."|
|Saxby Chambliss I have seen the photo of Osama’s bloody corpse, and it’s not pretty.
That was the cover of Time.
|Osama Bin Laden was tagged in a photo: |
We will not be releasing the photo of Osama Bin Laden with his skull blown to pieces, flecks of brain spattered everywhere, his mouth ringed with a light frothy foam, and his eye socket gaping wide like a tunnel to hell. It would be in poor taste.
|Osama Bin Laden joined the group Fishes|
|The United States posted a note on Pakistan's Wall: "We need to talk."
Hahahaha why hahaha
|Modern Dog posted an article: "EXCLUSIVE: Interview With Dog That Caught Bin Laden."|
|Hamas posted a note: "Bin Laden Was a Hero and a Martyr."
You were THIS close to getting off the terror watch list.
|CNN posted an article: "Poll: Most Americans Say Bin Laden in Hell."
|Fox News posted an article: "Fireworks at First GOP Debate, as Tim Pawlenty Raises Voice Slightly."|
|Barack Obama invited George W. Bush to the event Ground Zero Service.
George W. Bush
I refuse to join in these festivities while Osama Bin Laden is still at large.
George W. Bush
|America added Closure to its Activities and Interests.
Now, with this moment behind us, we can finally focus on fixing our problems at home.
|CNN posted an article: "POLL: 87 Percent of Americans Think Barack Obama Killed Osama Too Aloofly."|
|Barack Obama is joining Friendster.|
Christopher Beam is a writer living in Beijing.
Chris Wilson is a Slate contributor.