I write an occasional column about cocktails, and when I'm fishing around for ideas, I first search the calendar for special occasions. For instance, early May might call for an essay on the Mint Julep or on tequila, which might in turn call for el doctor. In general, the pretext shapes the text. My assignment in this Slate Reader Takeover is to spend some hours on the town in New York City drinking a cocktail of your choice and then report on culinary history and barroom anthropology. But also you need to know the special occasion shaping the text. By coincidence, this article constitutes my birthday party. Jägermeister shots are not an option.