A giant asteroid is heading toward Earth. First a scientist predicted it will come within 30,000 miles of Earth's center (nine times closer than the moon) on Oct. 26, 2028, and that it might hit us. It's a mile wide and will be traveling at speeds of up to 45,000 miles an hour. Likely effects of impact: tidal waves, "continent-size fires," and global devastation. Then other scientists said it won't come closer than 600,000 miles. The spins: 1) When scientists reassure you, it's time to get scared. 2) Let's go blow it up! 3) Blow it up? We can't even hit Scuds. 4) We've got 30 years to figure out how to go blow it up. Thank goodness for early detection. 5) Figuring out how to blow it up will bring the nations of the Earth together. 6) No, wait, that's the naive premise of this summer's asteroid movies. 7) This is all a big scare job to create publicity for the movies. 8) Maybe they made the movies because they knew the asteroid was coming. 9) As with Star Wars, "can the defense contractors be far behind?" 10) Cheer up. A direct hit wouldn't necessarily wipe out all of us. 11) We'll be dead or old by then anyway. 12) No, we'll be just old enough to die on the threshold of drawing our first Social Security checks. 13) Don't be naive. Social Security will be going bankrupt by then. 14) Even if this asteroid misses us, a "killer" asteroid or comet will eventually hit us. 15) Astronomers are dumb to cry wolf about this asteroid, because when the real killer asteroid comes, people won't take it seriously. 16) Astronomers are smart to cry wolf, because they're scaring us into giving them more research money. (3/13)

The Marines will convene a military grand jury to consider possible manslaughter and negligent-homicide charges against the flight crew that killed 20 people in Italy. The crew's jet severed a ski cable, sending a cable car plummeting to the ground. A Marine commander blamed the accident on "crew error," including aggressive maneuvers, insufficient altitude, and excessive speed. The early spin: The Marines' report and initial menu of charges are severe enough to appease Italy's anger and prevent damage to U.S.-Italian relations. (3/13)

The Blumenthal-Drudge libel trial opened. White House aide Sidney Blumenthal is seeking $30 million from Internet rumor reporter Matt Drudge and from Drudge's chief outlet, American Online, for falsely reporting that Blumenthal beat his wife. The Drudge camp's spins: 1) He is David vs. a "White House Goliath" who is using the suit to silence Drudge's heroic raking of Clinton's muck. 2) Verbatim from Drudge: "At worst, it was an accurate report of an inaccurate rumor." 3) The rest of the media do the same thing, and other reporters are not supporting him because they resent his achievements. AOL's spin: Internet service providers can't be expected to monitor the truth of everything they make available. Blumenthal's spin: By paying Drudge, AOL acquires liability for what he says. Observers' spins: 1) Drudge is pathetic for continuing to seek the approval of reporters who scorn him. 2) Reporters are hypocrites for scorning Drudge while reading his reports. 3) Blumenthal is a hypocrite for demanding that Drudge reveal his sources while blasting Ken Starr for demanding the same of Blumenthal. 4) Reporters are hypocrites for failing to defend Drudge's First Amendment rights. 5) If ever there were a good reason to waive the First Amendment, this guy is it. (3/13)

Prosecutor Kenneth Starr is investigating whether Clinton allies tried to alter the testimony of Kathleen Willey, a former White House aide who has alleged that Clinton groped her. In the Paula Jones case, Willey reportedly testified that Democratic fund-raiser Nathan Landow had urged Willey to deny the encounter in her testimony. Landow denies having done so. On March 10, Willey arrived with prosecutors to testify before the Lewinsky grand jury, exciting speculation that she is now on Starr's team. The anti-Clinton spin: This broadens the investigation of Clinton's alleged lying and covering up from Lewinsky to other women. The pro-Clinton spin: This further merges the Lewinsky investigation with the Paula Jones civil suit, thereby discrediting Starr. (3/11)

California Quake 1: Democrat Lois Capps defeated Republican Tom Bordonaro Jr. in a congressional special election. She is the widow of the district's previous representative in Congress, who died last fall; he is a social conservative who defeated the Republican Party's anointed moderate in the primary. Democrats called it a win for Democrats; interest groups that opposed Bordonaro called it a win for them; Capps called it a win for local issues over the interest groups. The safe spin: Whether the interest groups won or lost, they proved that they'll make a similar stink in this fall's elections. (3/11)

California Quake 2: Rep. Jay Kim, R-Calif., freshly sentenced for taking illegal campaign money (much of it from a Taiwanese national), continued to vote in Congress and signaled that he will run for re-election. Felons can't vote in Congress, but Kim's crimes were misdemeanors. The Los Angeles Times demanded that Kim resign. Democrats are ecstatic and Republicans are dismayed, figuring that Kim will give Democrats a handy comeback to Republican complaints about Democratic fund raising. Pundits suspect Newt Gingrich will find a way to get rid of him. (3/11)

Chilean ex-dictator Gen. Augusto Pinochet resigned as commander of the military, as required by the country's new constitution. Human rights advocates cheered his departure, citing the political murders and torture under his regime, but denounced an escape hatch under which he will be sworn in as a senator for life, thereby securing immunity from prosecution. Critics suggested he should at least have the good grace to run off into exile. The country's civilian government argued that the senatorial appointment is a fair exchange for his acquiescence to the 1988 elections that ended his dictatorship. His defenders compartmentalize his repression and point instead to the prosperity launched by his economic reforms. (3/11)

Conservative writer David Brock apologized to President Clinton for having written the 1993 "Troopergate" story that sparked the Paula Jones suit. In the April issue of Esquire, Brock writes: 1) The troopers "had slimy motives," probably exaggerated, and possibly "took me for a ride"--but "I'm not saying they made the whole thing up." 2) Motivated by his "ideological desire to damage Clinton" and egged on by Clinton haters, he neglected to scrutinize the troopers' claims. 3) Clinton's "private life" was none of his business, and the story didn't reveal "a damn thing worth knowing about [Clinton's] character." The high-minded spin: This confirms that there was a right-wing conspiracy. The cynical spin: This is the next stage of Brock's career makeover, drawing attention back to himself now that media interest in his previous mea culpa has died down. The high-minded cynical spin: This will make everyone forget that the Los Angeles Times documented the troopers' claims. (For Slate's take, see "So Sorry.") (3/11)

The United States and major European powers are cracking down on Yugoslavia in hopes of forestalling a "second Bosnia." The problem: Ethnic Albanian guerrillas killed Serb police in Kosovo, a province of Serbia with a 90-percent Albanian population; Serb police retaliated by killing dozens of locals, including civilians, and burning their homes; tens of thousands of ethnic Albanians demonstrated in protest. Analysts fear that the conflict could trigger chaos in neighboring Macedonia, possibly drawing Albania, Bulgaria, Greece, and Turkey into a war. The new U.S.-European agreement demands that Serbian security forces pull out of Kosovo, on pain of further sanctions against Yugoslavian President (i.e., Serbian strongman) Slobodan Milosevic, and that the ethnic Albanians forsake violence and seek a negotiated political settlement instead. ("The Gist" gives you the background of the conflict.) (3/9)

Whitewater convict and ex-Clinton partner Jim McDougal died. Pundits brushed aside his life and focused instead on the pressing question: How does his absence affect Starr's chances of nailing the Clintons, since McDougal had become a key witness against them? The New York Times called it a setback for Starr. The Washington Post wasn't so sure, since McDougal's reputation for veracity was badly tattered. Starr called him "a complete and honorable gentleman." Clinton touted his "good memories" of their Arkansas days together. Hillary Clinton, according to the Post, "pointedly did not join the president's statement of condolence." McDougal's spin on himself: He was "Bill Clinton's Brutus." Cynics observed that McDougal, unlike Brutus, turned on Caesar only after Caesar neglected to get him a fancy job. (3/9)

Conservative pundit Eric Breindel died of complications from liver disease at 42. He was best known as the former editor of the New York Post editorial page. He was mourned by conservatives, cops, and hard-line Israel supporters, in that order. (3/9)