A U.S. government report concluded that Switzerland 1) financed the Nazis and 2) evaded a postwar agreement to restore gold that the Nazis had looted during the Holocaust. The report said Swiss banks gave Germany the credit it needed to prolong the war and the Holocaust in exchange for gold that the banks knew was stolen. Responding to the report, Switzerland's foreign minister pleaded that his country had been at Germany's mercy. However, editorialists contemptuously observed that even after Germany's defeat, the Swiss thwarted efforts to restore the gold to its owners. The report also faulted other "neutral" countries--Portugal, Spain, Sweden, Turkey, Argentina--for similar profiteering on a smaller scale. Polls indicate that Swiss voters are likely to defeat a coming referendum that would set up a fund to compensate Holocaust survivors. Some analysts view the U.S. report as a warning that if the Swiss don't cough up the money voluntarily, the United States and its allies might force them to do so. (5/9)

The Scottish institute that cloned a sheep has applied for global patents on similar cloning of humans and other animals. The institute has reportedly said that 1) it does not plan to clone humans and 2) it just wants the patents so that nobody else will be able to try the cloning process. Opponents are lobbying the World Health Organization to thwart the patents on the grounds that a drug company affiliated with the Scottish group might sub-license the process to three pharmaceutical conglomerates. (5/9)

The House voted to get tough on juvenile crime. The bill in question would 1) require juveniles to be penalized like adults if convicted of violent crimes by a federal court and 2) offer subsidies to encourage states to try juveniles as adults in cases of violent crime. The legislative debate featured dire warnings about a new generation of predators, despite statistics indicating that the juvenile crime rate is falling. Supporters argued that letting kids off easy on their first offenses gives them the idea they can get away with crime. Opponents protested that the bill would imprison kids with hardened adult felons without having done anything positive to steer kids away from crime in the first place. (5/9)

Miscellany: The Republican Party returned money--more than $100,000--it had received from a Hong Kong company through an American front several years ago. The media had a field day with the GOP's apparent hypocrisy on the evils of taking Asian money. The Army accused its top enlisted man of 18 counts of impermissible sexual behavior. The accused, Sgt. Major of the Army Gene C. McKinney, denied the charges and said he thought that racial factors--he is black and his four accusers are white--were driving the investigation. The New York Times reported that two of President Clinton's closest confidants knew that Webster Hubbell was in legal trouble before he quit his Justice Department job in 1994. This calls into question Clinton's denials that he or his aides realized Hubbell's predicament when they drummed up contracts for him. Critics suspect that the contracts were really Whitewater hush money. Charlton Heston ousted the National Rifle Association's first vice president in a pre-emptive coup by NRA "moderates" against an incipient coup being plotted by NRA "extremists." A former Heaven's Gate cult member committed suicide in the same manner as his comrades, just as the Hale-Bopp comet is about to vanish from the sky. Columnist Murray Kempton died and was remembered for his courtliness and highly styled prose. (5/9)

More Miscellany: FBI director Louis Freeh has concluded that a "catastrophic mechanical failure" evidently caused the TWA 800 crash, and that it's time to end the investigation of more sinister possibilities. The Franklin D. Roosevelt Memorial was unveiled in Washington, D.C., sans wheelchair. Dennis Rodman announced that he plans to change his name to "Orgasm." Commentators, thoroughly inured to Rodman's antics, dismissed this latest stunt as anticlimactic. Carol Marin, one of Chicago's premier TV newscasters, quit to protest her station's hiring of sleaze-talk-show host Jerry Springer as a regular commentator. Springer later quit the job, saying it wasn't worth the "flack" he was getting over it. (5/9)

The chess match between world champion Garry Kasparov and IBM's Deep Blue supercomputer is underway. The pre-match spin: Computers are getting smarter and will soon surpass humans. The spin after Kasparov won Game 1: Deep Blue proved computers' inferiority by playing "like a numbskull" and giving up subtle positional advantage for crude material advantage. The spin after Deep Blue won Game 2: Finally, a computer has proved it can play with "finesse," "long-term strategy," and "an excellent sense of timing." Even Kasparov's aide conceded that computers will eventually beat the human champ. Pundits are consoling themselves with the excuse that while chess is easy for computers (since it's pure logic), we'll always be able to whip them at negotiating treaties and summarizing Proust. Games 3 and 4 were draws. During Game 3, the IBM Web site that monitors the match had 22 million hits. Suppose Deep Blue ultimately wins, mused the New York Times. Is the "ghost in the machine ... brain or box? Think about it."(5/9)

A North Carolina jury convicted a drunken driver of first-degree murder and sentenced him to life in prison without parole for killing two college students in a crash. This is the first time a life sentence has been meted out for chemically impaired (pills plus beer) driving--and the first time that a prosecutor has sought the death penalty in such a case. The prosecutor touts the verdict as a deterrent to other drivers, and commentators see it as the first step in a serious escalation of the war against driving while intoxicated. The prosecutor argued that the crash was an assault with a deadly weapon (the car); so a showing of intent to kill was not necessary under the state's felony murder law. (5/7)

President Clinton visited Mexico and affirmed his solidarity with the Mexican government. Pundits accused him of ducking the big, controversial issues (drugs, trade, immigration) while touting small, symbolic agreements (building bridges, protecting dolphins). Clinton's aides conceded that he scored no important policy achievements, but argued that the visit's purpose was to shore up the badly damaged U.S.-Mexico relationship in order to facilitate future achievements. The chief surprise was Clinton's admission that the United States deserves heavy blame for its drug problem. Clinton also became the first president to meet with Mexican opposition leaders. (5/7)

The Boston Celtics signed University of Kentucky basketball coach Rick Pitino to a $70 million, 10-year contract. The most lucrative coaching contract in the history of sports (previous record: $40 million to Miami Heat coach Pat Riley for 10 years), it comes one day after the Philadelphia 76ers hired Indiana Pacers coach Larry Brown (who lost more games than he won last year) for $25 million over five years. Pitino, who said three weeks ago that "there's no monetary amount that can get me to leave" Kentucky, now implies he is actually making a financial sacrifice, since "Kentucky would have paid me anything I wanted" to stay. Cynics suggested Pitino is simply a master of timing, since the Celtics are coming off their worst win-loss record ever and will probably get the first pick in this year's draft. The Washington Post's Thomas Boswell sees a trend: "First, players were paid obscenely. Now, coaches duck out of contracts to grab a bigger fistful of millions." A smart trend, according to the New York Times' George Vecsey, because "players tend to respect a coach who makes millions of dollars a year."(5/7)

The Bre-X Minerals gold site in Indonesia has been certified as one of the greatest frauds of the century. An independent report found "virtually no possibility of an economic gold deposit" at the highly touted site and confirmed suspicions that mineral samples from the site had been doctored to exaggerate its promise. Bre-X shares, which had peaked at $20, plunged to less than a nickel. Millions of Americans lost money in the scam because mutual-fund companies, led by Fidelity, had invested heavily in Bre-X. The New York Times said it might be the most expensive stock fraud ever and pointed out that this is not the first time Americans have been taken by a Canadian scam. Bre-X's vice chairman and chief geologist, who became a millionaire by selling shares of the company at their peak, denied any wrongdoing in a statement faxed from his beach house in the Cayman Islands. (5/7)