Sept. 11 1998 3:30 AM

Art Levine's pulp version.


(posted Thursday, Sept. 10, 1998)


To: House Judiciary Committee, the Honorable Henry Hyde, Chairman

Our office has been charged by the attorney general with the grave responsibility of determining if there has been any criminal wrongdoing by the president of the United States or those acting at his direction.

The most serious of the issues we have examined is the alleged cover-up of the sexual affair between a White House intern, Monica Lewinsky, then 21, and the president of the United States--a man old enough to be her father--in or near the Oval Office between November 1995 and December 1997. This case is not about sex but about possible criminal conduct by President Bill Clinton in violation of his oath of office and the laws of this nation, including perjury, subornation of perjury, and obstruction of justice.

A review of the relevant criminal violations is in order for a proper judgment to be rendered by your committee.



The details of the illicit sexual contacts between President Clinton and Ms. Lewinsky contradict the president's sworn testimony in Jones vs. Clinton and before the grand jury, despite the president's claims that his statements were "legally accurate." Herein are highlights of our findings (see Appendix XX for a complete list and descriptions of sexual acts, including oral copulation, mutual masturbation, and lewd and lascivious conduct with a cylindrical smoking device in violation of D.C. criminal code statute 531.6b).

According to the testimony of Ms. Lewinsky, the first of 49 sexual contacts between the president and herself began Nov. 15, 1995 (Lewinsky testimony, Part I, Pages 12-18). Lewinsky testified that as an intern in the West Wing she was summoned to deliver food to the president and was so observed entering the Oval Office at 11:59 p.m. by members of the uniformed Secret Service detail (Officer Lewis Fox testimony, Pages 5-12).

"Pizza, Mr. President?" Monica Lewinsky cooed, hoisting a large box of Domino's above her stylish dark tresses, according to the testimony of Lewinsky and Officer Fox. The raven-haired beauty, her voluptuous curves thrusting against the tight fabric of a low-cut white dress, stood outside the door of the Oval Office near midnight, a come-hither look in her flashing, dark eyes. "I'd love some," the president drawled, his eyes widening with desire, "but let me finish up here talking about highway appropriations with Sen. Lott." He winked broadly, then gave her a wide, rakish smile that lit her soul with excitement. She was alone at last with the president! (Lewinsky I, Pages 27-42).


Lewinsky has stated that ever since arriving in June 1995, the brilliant young intern, known both for her shapely body and a powerful intelligence that would make her an asset in any high-paying corporate PR job (contact: Plato Cacheris, [202] 555-9432), looked for ways to attract the attention of Bill Clinton. He was tall, charismatic, with piercing blue eyes that made Monica weak inside--and, best of all, he was the most powerful man on Earth! Now he put down the phone and looked at her--and the pizza--with undisguised hunger. "You look as hot as that pie, darlin'," he said, glancing at the cleavage of her firm, young breasts, while her breath quickened with expectation. "I've seen you around before, haven't I? What's your name again?"

"Monica," she said, her voice husky with longing. "Monica Lewinsky" (Exhibit A, "Lewinsky diary," Page 45).

"Well, Monica honey, I think it's snack time," the president said with a sexy growl in his voice. [...] He guided her into an adjoining study, holding a slice of pizza in his free hand, and said, in the warm, caring way she'd always admired, "I need someone like you in times like these."

With an unleashed passion that took her breath away, he suddenly grabbed, through her sheer dress, the firm yet pliant flesh of her buttocks, causing Monica to shiver with excitement, and then urgently kissed her, his tongue teasing hers, Lewinsky stated to the grand jury. "You really turn me on, Monica," he said in a hoarse, breathless whisper. "A chief of state has needs, sweetie pie, just like any other man," he added, putting his hand gently on the back of Monica's luxuriant dark hair, guiding her down to his fiery loins. Her face beamed with adoration as she explored his body, her tongue licking him slowly as she moved ever closer to his sword of love (Lewinsky, Pages 12-24; see also Linda Tripp tape transcripts, Pages 11-34).


She enveloped his throbbing manhood, and the muscles in his thighs contracted while he moaned softly with pleasure, Lewinsky testified. "You're fantastic, Monica baby," he gasped. "I wish Hillary knew how to treat me like you do." [...] Suddenly, the president of the United States exploded in shuddering bursts of joy. After they hugged each other, Monica aglow in her newfound love, the president whispered to her, "You're special to me, Monica, but let's keep this our little secret" (Lewinsky diary, Page 52; Tripp tapes, Page 35). He reached for the still-warm pizza with a satisfied smirk. "Seems like I'm always hungry, Monica," he said. She understood exactly how he felt.


FBI analysis of the DNA found on a cocktail dress owned by Ms. Lewinsky corroborates another key sexual encounter and thus contradicts the president's sworn deposition on Jan. 17 that he could not recall meeting alone with Ms. Lewinsky (cf, "FBI lab findings, Aug. 10, 1998, re 'love juice' " Pages 5-9; Clinton deposition, Pages 52, 92, et al.).

Item: On Easter Sunday, April 7, 1996, the president returned from church after services eulogizing Commerce Secretary Ron Brown. White House phone logs for that date show that he placed a phone call to the Lewinsky residence at 11:20 a.m. He apparently felt the familiar longing that only the beautiful and vivacious Monica Lewinsky could satisfy (Lewinsky testimony, Part II, Page 161). He would do (or say) anything to have her, even if it meant breaking the law--or a young woman's heart (testimony of Dick Morris, Page 32; Lewinsky II, Page 191.) That morning, wondering if he really loved her, she was lounging in her black silk pajamas, her ripe breasts exposed, waiting for his call. "Monica, I want you with me all the time," he told her, and that's all she needed to hear. [...] She was wearing a sexy blue cocktail dress when she was ushered into the Oval Office alone (testimony of Confidential Informant No. 12, code named "Manolo"), and the president gazed at her with a wild, hungry passion (Lewinsky diary, Page 136).

"Honey, I want to see all of you ... naked," he begged. [...]


Climbing on a desk in the secluded study, she wriggled her luscious hips, and slowly began peeling off her dress, shaking her huge breasts free so he could see--and touch--them in all their alabaster glory. She trembled as he caressed her, and she moved with new, intense passion as she saw him arouse himself, his face distorted in a mask of sheer lust. "Oh, my God, Monica, you turn me on more than any woman I've ever known," he exclaimed in between rapid pants of excitement. "I want to marry you after I leave the White House and leave Hillary far, far behind." With that, Monica exultantly threw the dress down at his feet as the president groaned in ecstasy and release, leaving traces of his love on her dress, a memento of the passion they shared together (Tripp tapes, Pages 124-192; Tripp testimony, Pages 36-43; Lewinsky I, Page 67).

Monica never imagined that the dress she treasured would someday be used to help convince publishers that her exclusive story of their steamy love affair, complete with shocking new details, was well worth $10 million or more, foreign rights included.


In his Jan. 17, 1998, deposition, the president said he couldn't recall the specifics of most gifts Lewinsky gave him, and yet he strongly denied receiving a silver cigar box from Lewinsky (Clinton deposition, Page 54). But a reported sexual encounter between Ms. Lewinsky and Mr. Clinton challenges the president's veracity under oath on this matter. Our office has received compelling evidence that Lewinsky not only gave the president the box, but Ms. Lewinsky conspired with the president to use at least one (1) cigar from the box to perform a lewd and lascivious act in violation of a Washington, D.C., criminal statute (Lewinsky testimony I, Pages 121-184; Exhibit C, Nieman-Marcus receipt, Oct. 1, 1996 ; The Drudge Report, Aug. 22, 1998; D.C. statute 531.6b).

Item: On Oct. 16, 1996, Lewinsky visited the president at the White House, according to White House visitor logs and Lewinsky's sworn statements, where she asked the president if he would ever be willing to declare their romance to the world. In response, the president handed her a velvet box with a silver ring inside. "Our love is important to me," he told her. Her heart filled with an overpowering love for him, but she was puzzled when he leered, "It matches the silver of the cigar box." He reached into the silver humidor and took out a clear-wrapped El Tempo, and gave her a big grin. "You can't commit adultery with a cigar, right?" (Lewinsky I, Pages 155-170).

She wondered again whether he cared for her as a person, or just as a sex object to service his sickest desires. She was shocked to realize that it didn't matter, really, as long as she got to be with him now--and forever (Lewinsky diary, Pages 92-93). "Hand me that cigar, big boy," she said, hoisting up her skirt, wallowing in all the depravity he taught her, "and let's see if we can light your fire!" Soon she was squirming on top of the blue carpet's presidential seal, moaning, "Oh, Mr. President!" while his cauldron of lust came to a boil--and then overflowed, Lewinsky stated (Lewinsky I, Pages 175-179). They were both plunged into a crazed maelstrom of feverish ecstasy, and afterward he asked her a special favor. "Darlin', if you're ever called to testify about our relationship, don't ever lie."

"I promise, Mr. President."

He added with a cackle, "But just don't volunteer any extra information!" He was so brazen sometimes, she couldn't help but love him (Lewinsky I, Pages 180-186; Tripp tapes, Pages 211-212).

The criminal pattern of subornation of perjury and obstruction of justice (see Sections II and III, below) was built on this bedrock of lies and sexual misconduct. We hope your committee will take appropriate action in response to the enclosed material.