April 13 1997 3:30 AM


The Dow that can be known
is not the true Dow.
Those who talk do not understand it.
Those who understand rarely talk.

Greenspan says nothing, does nothing;
the universe quakes.


The Dow is the center of the universe.
It is beyond all value.
But never, seemingly,
beyond next month's value.

The Dow does not exist
yet all exists within it.
OK, only 30 companies exist within it.
But it seems like a much bigger deal.

All things end in the Dow
just as the once-great Lotus

was acquired by IBM.

Its teachings are easy to grasp
and easy to practice,
yet the intellect will never grasp them:
Any rational being would be in T-bills by now.
The path to prosperity is crooked, and mindless.

Some call the Dow's teachings nonsense.
Others say they are unrealistic.
But to those who have peered within themselves
and, more to the point, within their margin accounts,
it all makes perfect sense.

Why did the ancient Masters revere the Dow?
Because when you are one with the Dow
nd make a mistake,
like selling Exxon just because of a few spills,
you are quickly forgiven
in the form of a 52-week high for 3M.
The Dow is all-loving.
That is why everyone loves it.


The Master keeps his mind always at one with the Dow.
That is what gives him his radiance.

That, plus 10 hours a day
in front of a 17-inch color monitor.

The Master understands that events
are forever out of control,
and that trying to dominate them
goes against the flow of the Dow.

He therefore chooses an Index Fund,
or rather, an Index Fund chooses him.
Committing all his liquid assets,
he ceases to expend energy
and realizes gains of 20 percent or greater
forever and ever.

This great Middle Path is easy:

effortless and (usually) without load.

Yet many prefer other pathsbe
coming attached to long bonds or small caps.
The Master is aware that things are often out of balance
at 85 times forward earnings.

If you realize that you have enough,
you are truly rich.
Short of this,
accumulate Disney up to $85.
Ovitz was but an illusion.

There is no greater illusion than fear,
no greater wrong than cashing out prematurely.

Short-selling is the instrument of fear;
the Master avoids it
except in the most extreme cases
such as with America Online.


Music or the aroma of fine food
may make people stop and partake.
But the words that lead to the way of the Dow
are monotonous and bland.
Such is the natureof business journalism.

The way of the Dow
is to yield.

In harmony with the Dow
the skies are clear and clean,
the earth firm and full,
and all creatures prosper,
content with the way they are.

In harmony with the Dow,
memory serves no purpose;
act with the day's momentum,
forgetting all history.

'87 is but a pale shadow,
'73 a warm breeze.

Money or happiness: Which is more valuable?
The Master recognizes this for what it is:
a real jump-ball of a question.

Pondering it, he merely smiles
and glances serenely
at his Bloomberg screens.