There are two kinds of people in the world: people who need an elaborate explanation for why Will Ferrell went on Conan in tiger face paint to perform “Superstar” by the Carpenters and people who know that any explanation would make the video—again, that’s video of Hollywood funnyman Will Ferrell with his face painted like a tiger, belting out the Carpenters’ signature hit—less amusing.
But which type of person are you? Well, if you clicked on a headline reading “Here Is a Video of Will Ferrell in Tiger Face Paint Singing ‘Superstar’ by the Carpenters” and thought to yourself, What a strange thing for Will Ferrell to have done! I can’t wait to find out more about his reasons for behaving so oddly by reading this article, you are in the first category. To be honest, you might get more enjoyment from seeking out news stories that are specifically crafted to provoke this type of curiosity before immediately satisfying it. Look for headlines like “You’ll Never Guess Why Will Ferrell Is Wearing Tiger Face Paint and Singing ‘Superstar’ by the Carpenters” or, better yet, “You’ll Never Guess Who Just Went on Conan in Tiger Face Paint to Sing a Song by the Carpenters That You’ll Also Never Guess.” Nothing wrong with creating an itch, then scratching it! (Here’s your answer.) But you’ll notice that this particular Slate article never promised you an explanation, even in a parenthetical—it promised you a video of Will Ferrell, in tiger face paint, singing “Superstar,” by the Carpenters. And let’s face it: When it comes to providing video of the star of Anchorman covered in face paint and singing the Carpenters, Slate has delivered, big time.
But there’s another kind of person in the world, for whom the headline “Here Is a Video of Will Ferrell in Tiger Face Paint Singing ‘Superstar’ by the Carpenters” doesn’t raise any further questions. For these people, and I am proud to count myself among them, a video of Will Ferrell in tiger face paint singing “Superstar” is sufficient unto itself, ready to shoot into outer space to explain to extraterrestrial life all that is great and noble about our culture. To paraphrase President Kennedy, we choose to go on talk shows in tiger face paint and perform “Superstar” by the Carpenters (or, more to the point, choose to watch videos of other people doing the same) not because it is explicable but because it is inexplicable. It is to those brave pioneers that this Slate article, “Here Is a Video of Will Ferrell in Tiger Face Paint Singing ‘Superstar’ by the Carpenters,” is humbly dedicated.
