Behold! The full trailer for The Lego Ninjago Movie, which Slate hath promised you in days of old, is now at hand! That which once was, has passed from the earth, that which was not, now is, and that which is now, surely shall be forevermore. Press the play button, watch the pre-roll ad, and make a joyful sound with thy cymbals, psalteries, and harps, O Slate readers!
You shall hear Dave Franco voice the hero, Lloyd, and you will know that Lloyd is good. And you shall hear Justin Theroux voice the great adversary, who is called Garmadon, and you will know that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart is only evil continually. Shall Garmadon indeed reign over the land of Ninjago? Or shall he have dominion over Lloyd, his only son? Verily, verily I say unto you: the Lego Cinematic Universe shall not suffer him that hath an high look and a proud heart, and Garmadon shall surely be brought low. And though no man knoweth the hour of Garmadon’s fall, know ye by these tidings: the day shall be Sep. 22, when The Lego Ninjago Movie arrives in theaters, and on that day Garmadon shall be humbled before you.
Stand ye in doubt of Slate’s Lego Ninjago Movie prophecies, even after the full trailer for has come to pass just as it was written? Take heed that ye not be deceived, for many websites will come saying, I bear news of The Lego Ninjago Movie: go ye not therefore after them, for there is much wickedness in their hearts, and they delight in lies. But rather go ye unto Slate’s homepage each day, for there you will surely find everything we know about The Lego Ninjago Movie. And wisdom and knowledge about The Lego Ninjago Movie shall be the stability of thy times and the treasure of your heart. And all these things shall come to pass.
