Some time before finishing fifth in the men’s 200-meter individual medley final at the Rio Olympics, Ryan Lochte dyed his hair blue. The color of water. #lightblue. For students of jeahology, this tonsorial maneuver was no surprise. This is the kind of thing Ryan Lochte does.
Lochte is America’s Olympics oaf. He is also a 12-time medalist. He also looks good with his new light blue hairstyle. With light blue hair, Ryan Lochte looks like a god of the sea. He resembles one of the vaguely French ocean magicians from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. He looks like the crown prince of an ice kingdom.
At the very least, he looks more dignified than he did the other night, when he channeled Eminem circa 2000.
Perhaps on dry land, this creature would never fly. But in the water, at the Olympics? C’mon. Ryan Lochte’s blue hair does not look terrible.
