Standard Parental Rants That Never Change Anybody's Mind About Anything
Here are the two basic rants parents most often direct at their unmotivated kids.
1. "When I was a kid, we did not sit on our asses all day. We played with kids in the neighborhood and with friends. When we were little, it was kick the can or hide and seek, then pickup sports, and it was all social, active, and in the fresh air. Why don't you get out and do something with your friends?"
2. "My parents expected us to go out with friends, and I wanted to do that even if they didn't expect it. I had chores and responsibilities, too. No one had to tell me to get off my ass and do my work or go have fun."
If you're a parent, it's important that you tell your child each of the above—to get the inevitable over with and to refresh your image around the house as a dinosaur who pines for the Mesozoic Era, when everything was so much different and better. Here's a handy template you can work from when crafting a rant: "In those days, [select one or more of the following:] children showed respect, we did things with and for our parents, we all had hobbies. [Now give an explanation that makes no sense but sounds simple:] The reason we were so healthy and grounded is that there were no [again, select one or more:] cell phones, computers, video games. Children were spanked, even when they were good, and they treasured the experience. There were no cable channels, and on the broadcast channels there were only bizarre variety shows, broadly unfunny comedians in drag, and newscasts featuring men who smoked—although not on the air, mostly. We made our own arrowheads out of obsidian and antelope bones, and California was not a state yet. Life was good."
As you have no doubt found out already, none of this works, so it is good to go on to other, more effective strategies once you have gotten these preliminaries out of the way.