The Slatest

Woody Harrelson’s Character From True Detective Watches the Pee Tape

In a clip from his ABC interview with George Stephanopoulos, James Comey addressed the so-called Steele dossier’s infamous uncorroborated allegation that Russian operatives have video of Donald Trump employing prostitutes to urinate on a hotel bed that Barack Obama once used:

STEPHANOPOULOS: Did you believe his denial?

COMEY: I honestly never thought these words would come out of my mouth, but I don’t know whether the current president of the United States was with prostitutes peeing on each other in Moscow in 2013. It’s possible. But I don’t know.

This set the highbrow intellectuals on Slate’s staff to speculating.

We have honored the winning entry above the best way we know how: by integrating it into a parodic high-concept joke involving a show that aired four years ago. Enjoy!