"George Bush is shown smiling during an execution. He was only supposed to be smiling during the press conference."—Charles Star (Aidan Finley, Peter Armstrong, Chad Heeren, Will Vehrs, and Steve Kiefer had similar answers.)

"Look, I don't care if Kubrick caved in too; if Bush's artistic vision called for hard-core sex in his campaign commercials, he should keep hard-core sex in his campaign commercials. Besides, that digital enhancement doesn't even look real. I mean really, why would Conde Rice just be walking by that sort of thing as if nothing were going on?"—Craig A. Calcaterra (similarly, Pete Miesel)

"A scene captioned 'Democrat Party Fund-Raiser' shows topless women wrestling in oil and Asian men in uniforms taking pictures of missiles in what appears to be the East Room of the White House. Apparently the missile shown is still classified."—Charlie Glassenberg

"President Clinton getting oral sex from Corbett Monica. It needs to be cut because the producers of the much-missed Catskills on Broadway show have threatened to sue over the clip's grand rights."—Larry Amoros

"Shows Dubya reading aloud to children from Camus' The Stranger. Focus groups felt uneasy watching him reading."—Deborah Wassertzug

"A scene of drunk Bush doing the hokeypokey in his boxers. Bush said he wanted to cut it because 'I look fat.' "—Sophie Pollitt-Cohen

"That would be the offer to trade a 'Cripple Me Elmo' doll for your vote."—Steven Davis

"Not rats subliminal rats messages rats, that's rats for rats sure eat popcorn."—Doug Sheppard (similarly, Sharon Dynek and Dan Dickinson)

"It shows Gore holding a small child; the voice-over is intoning, 'Al Gore, worshipper of Moloch, wants to feed your children to a fiery idol.' According to a Bush spokesman, 'Yeah, there were a few complaints about accuracy on that one. Like, Moloch is really red-hot, not actually fiery.' "—Floyd Elliot

"According to Nintendo's lawyers, Pikachu does not actually endorse Bush."—Doug Sheppard

"George W. Bush speaking to Hispanic high-school students. Authorities recognized that Bush had been dubbed over the image of Edward James Olmos' from Stand and Deliver."—M.D.C. Bowen

"The sequence shows—in its entirety, at very high speed—a bootleg print of The X-Men that the Bush campaign bought from a street vendor. Jack Valenti is not amused."—Tim Carvell

"A man who the commercial claims to be Al Gore is shown sneaking out of windows, taking cocaine, and crashing his car. It appears, however, that it is really Darryl Strawberry."—Charlie Glassenberg

"The sequence is a spoiler for Pay It Forward. Bush has been asked to replace the footage with a scene where Forest Whitaker shows a snapshot of his girlfriend who looks a lot like Tim Carvell in a Kimono, except with more eye makeup."—Daniel (I'm Not Sorry Either) Kahn

"Footage of him as Texas Rangers owner from the summer of 1989. It's being cut because you see him telling the Rangers GM, 'Trade Sammy Sosa's ass outta here ... he'll never pan out.' "—Andrew Milner

"Bush sneezing and it sounds like, 'Clymer's still an asshole.' "—Julie Carwile

"Moot point. They gave the footage to Rosemary Woods."—Peter Lerangis

"That clip from Risky Business with Tom Cruise dancing on the couch in his skivvies. It will not lure the soccer moms after all."—Winter Miller (similarly, but W. in a Speedo, Scott Mathias)

"It shows the president's head moving back and to the left. It has to be cut because Gerald Ford and Arlen Specter say so."—Larry Amoros

"It shows Boy Scouts. And I guess it should be cut because the Boy Scouts do not support Bush's ever-so-gay-friendly platform?"—Francis Heaney (similarly, Richard Nikonovich-Kahn)

"Played in frame-by-frame slow motion, footage of Dick Cheney actually turns out to be a nude Jessica Rabbit."—Chris Thomas

"Peruvian ex-spy chief Vladimiro Montesinos is seen in a grainy video bribing Al Gore to defect to the Republican Party. Nader comments that the video is several years old and that the two parties are identical anyway."—John Hanson

"It shows Henry Kissinger collapsing from a heart attack, symbolizing the nation's supposed weakness under a Gore administration. It was removed because, according to a Bush spokesman, 'We do not want to benefit from suffering. Instead, to cheer up Henry, we'll air pictures of bombed-out Cambodian villages.' "—Noah Meyerson

"Gore's face morphing into Satan. But now Satan's complaining."—Michael Doyle

"Neal Bush in the background holding up the VOTE FOR NADER sign."—Marshall Efron

"Showing the candidate running around Tampa yelling, 'Soylent Green is people!' gives away the ending to yet another popular movie."—Greg Diamond

"A smiling Barbara Bush paddling little Dubya's bare butt with a wire coat hanger was cut because a Christian Right spokesperson said, 'while it clearly demonstrates the proper teaching of High Moral Values, it's entirely too sexually stimulating.' "—Rich Beadle

"W.'s Skull and Bones tattoo. We could see it, but then they'd have to kill all of us."—Richard Nikonovich-Kahn

"George W. speaking Spanish to a crowd. La Raza objected to what it termed 'linguistic abuse' of its constituency."—David Ballard

"It shows the Republican candidate. It demands excision because that smirk is tiresome."—Carrie Rickey

"Bush and Cheney bowing toward Mecca. Texas oil producers would be called Moderately Sized Oil instead of Big Oil and everything must be big in Texas."—Keith Kerle

Self-Reference Corner

"Anna Karenina, being hit by a train."—Tim "Determined To Ruin the Ending of Just About Everything in This, the Quiz's Twilight" Carvell

"You really should have invoked the no-wanking zone for this question."—Pete Miesel

"Well, as long as there's no 'penis-free zone' I'm going to say, a penis. As to why it should be cut there are many different schools, tradition, hygiene, aesthetics, they're all good. For me, I just wanted to fit in better at Yeshiva."—T.G. Gibbon (similarly, David Finkle)

"The sequence contained criticism of the News Quiz. The campaign decided to focus on institutions that aren't in their twilight."—Fred Petrick

Nostalgic Reference Corner

"A dawn monkey with a Bush-Cheney sign duct-taped to its arm."—Colin Delaney

"Strom Thurmond's ass, but why cut it with so many undecided voters looking for something to latch onto?"—Will Vehrs

Newz Kwiz 4 Kidz Korner

"Today, kidz, as we near the end of our run here, we want to go back to where we began—that is, by stealing an idea from Tim Carvell. Here are the endings to some more popular features:
1) Survivor in Australia: The young hairy guy who used to smear himself with kangaroo dung wins.
2) Teletubbies: After excessive exposure to pesticide byproducts in the verdant meadow, suddenly—bam!—they grow breasts and pubic hair!
3) News Quiz: The last response on the last day goes to—Jon Hotchkiss! He's back, he's all over Strom Thurmond's ass, and he's still trashing My Giant!"—Greg Diamond