"Mount Margaret—because, apparently, nearly everyone did."—Michael Doyle (Chris Troutt and Gary Drevitch had similar answers.)

"Mount 64 Percent of Canadians Are Total Morons."—Dax Oliver (similarly, Ben Sheriff)

"Mount Jean Chrétien Is So Cool."—Francis Heaney (similarly, Greg Diamond)

"Mount Drunken Injun."—Tom O'Connor (similarly, Greg Diamond)

"Mount Dead Yukon Indian."—Gary Drevitch

"Mount Screw the Federal Names Board, to be known on weekends as Mount the Hell With the Yukon Indians."—John J. Edwards III

"Molson Golden Mountain."—Dan Dickinson

"Mount Everest, the Canadian Version (critics charge he's just pandering to tourists)."—Tim Carvell (similarly, Francis Heaney)

"Mount Lojack—Citing deficits, Chrétien said that Canada needed the money that the five-year, $75 million endorsement deal provided."—Mark Wade

"Wolverine."— Daniel Radosh (similarly, Steven Davis, Bill Cavanaugh, Terry Brown, and Carl Dean Cox)

"Debbie."—Larry Amoros

"Mount Eh?"—David Finkle (similarly, Charlie Glassenberg, Steven Davis, and Mark Romoser)

"Nothing that includes 'eh' is going to make the front page, will it? Well, if it does, put me down as 'similarly.' "—Charles Star

"I don't think it looks like Arthur Ashe, either."—Anthony Wright

"www.eMount.ca He will allegedly receive 200,000 stock options for the IPO, as well as a seat on the board when he gets his Canuck ass run out of town."—Brooke Saucier (similarly, Mark Romoser)

"Space Mountain. (And if you think the Yukon Indians are peeved, just wait till you see the letters he's gotten from Disney.)"—Tim Carvell

"A lifelong Ted Turner supporter, he renamed it Mount Noc-a-homa."—Sharon Dynek

"He wants to call it the Childs-Renault-Spelling Mountain to celebrate Canada's rich heritage of British Cuisine, French Technology, and American Culture."—Scott Mathias

"Mount Shania; he said something about a wet dream he'd had in February."—Brooke Saucier (similarly, but Britney Spears, Mark Shotzberger; Pamela Anderson, Julie Carwile)

"Put me down as 'similarly' for any entry suggesting the mountain be named after a busty celebrity."—Will Vehrs

"Gee, that's tough. Mount Snow, Mount Eskimo, and Mount Lumberjack are already taken, right? And that's all they have up there, right?"—Doug Welty

"Mount Travolta Please Make Battlefield Earth 2."—Adam Bonin

"Mount Superfly Chrétien."—Sarah M. Balcomb

"Mount Bob Hope, in memory of North America's favorite comedian."—Charlie Glassenberg

"What the poll respondents don't get is that 'Logan' is the Anglicization of Trudeau. Jeesh! Has biligualism taught nothing to those Canucks?"—Carrie Rickey

"Squaw Mountain (an insensitive way to honor the natives, eh?)."—Julie Carwile

"Once they start getting West Wing episodes up there, they won't mind a mountain named after President Bartlet."—Anthony Wright

"Mount William Shatner (because it extends thousands of feet above the tree line)."—Mark Romoser

"Mommy Poo Poo Pants."—Michael A. Dooley

"When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a Canadian What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes To Watch the Expos Play and He'll Win the Whole Thing 'Fore He Enters the Store Where They Refuse To Speak English to Tourists There's Nobody To Batter When Your Winter Is Totally Freezing So When You Go Solo You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That About Is the Word Most People Are Going To Make Fun of You for Saying and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where To Land and If You Fall It Won't Matter, 'Cuz You'll Know You're a Proud Canuck."—Francis Heaney

Self-Reference Corner

" 'Perhaps if I rename Mount Logan 'Mount Cohen', I will finally get one of my News Quiz responses posted,' Chrétien was not overheard saying."—Tom Tegtmeyer (similarly, Pete Miesel)

" 'Metallica' has a double-L. And now I'm so pissed-off I've forgotten the question."—Michael J. Basial

"In solidarity with the proud Canadian people, their culture under assault from the influence of dumbed-downed U.S. standards, I will submit no entries with American themes, even if this means I will not even be relegated to the cheap seats of the Self-Reference Corner, just above another tiresome Newz Kwiz 4 Kidz."—Will Vehrs

" 'Mount Greg Diamond' (I hear Chrétien is a SUPERMAJOR fan of Newz Kwiz 4 Kidz Korner)."—Tom O'Connor

Newz Kwiz 4 Kidz Korner

"Today, kidz, we take a break from politics and honor Canada! Canada, our Neighbor to the North, has lots of snow and baby harp seals which make neat coats, though it's best to kill them while no one's photographing you, if you know what I mean! Because Canada has a parliamentary system of government, its nominees for the highest political office in the land tend to be quite qualified since they've had to rise to the head of their party rather than being able to bamboozle the average clueless primary voter with their overwhelming advantages in fund-raising ability and—OK! OK, I know I promised! I'm sorry OK? But do you know how much I'd pay to be able to vote for Jean Chrétien right now? I don't even care if he looks like a gangster. He's smart, he's personable—oh, God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to start crying like this. Sorry sorry sorry. Oh, why, God, why?"—Greg Diamond