"Edward Teller. About X-ray lasers in space. By the way, why isn't he in hell yet?"—Chris Kelly

"George Santayana, about history. If I learned one thing in college, it's that, when in doubt, always guess that it's George Santayana, about history."—Greg Diamond

"The latest Victoria's Secret catalog describing yet another of its Wonder Bras."—Sharon Dynek

"Some dead egghead explaining ghosthood to a séance."—Kevin Gregg

"A tired, punchy Kofi Annan trying to explain his peace efforts to CNN."—Beth Sherman

"I know this is nowhere near on point, but the election is in three weeks and I need get this off my chest. RONALD REAGAN IS ALREADY DEAD! THE REPUBLICANS ARE PRESERVING HIM AND HIDING THE NEWS UNTIL THE WEEKEND BEFORE THE ELECTION! HOW COME NOBODY IN HIS FAMILY BUT NANCY EVER SEES HIM, HUH? THE FUNERAL WILL BE MONDAY, NOV. 6! FIRST THE ALZHEIMER'S LETTER IN NOVEMBER 1994, NOW THIS! I'm sorry. Back to the quiz."—Mark Wade

"Albert Einstein at age 10. But then his mother smacked him upside the head for 'talking crazy' and he went on to win the Nobel Prize. But not for chemistry. So remember, 'time outs' never helped anybody win a Nobel. Except maybe the peace prize. Wusses."—Steven Davis

"Deepak Chopra said it and damned if I know why. Come to think of it, darned if his publisher don't care."—Dave Donovan

"Ralph Nader, on the fact that he spoke in front of a packed, 9,000-seat auditorium (with the help of Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder), and it didn't really matter what the hell he said."—Brooke Saucier

"Jackie Chan re kung fu kinetics subbing for narrative in action flicks."—Carrie Rickey

"Pat Buchanan, about anything he ever said."—Gus Robertson (Jon Drumwright had a similar answer.)

"James Dean said it just before his last joyride. It's really pretty sick when you think about it."—Steven Davis

"Superman, in the opening address at his annual Metaphysical Flying Camp."—Andrew Puzzio

"Stephen J. Hawking in his review of the second Bush-Gore debate."—George Lovely

"Al Gore said it about 'chasing that bright, elusive butterfly called Truth.' ('Don't be concerned. It will not harm you. It's only me pursuing something I'm not sure of,' added the self-proclaimed composer.)"—Deborah Guy

G.W. Corner

"George W. Bush, about hate crimes."—Francis Heaney (similarly, Katha Pollitt and Charles Star; but about his tax plan, Mark Shotzberger; but school vouchers, Jon Delfin; but something intimate best kept between patient and doctor, Sean Cavanaugh)

"George W. Bush, about nothing in particular, just displaying his deep appreciation of alliteration and assonance (like with 'compassionate conservatism,' 'reformer with results' and so on)."—Mark Romoser

"So that's what 'gravitas' means. But I ask you, Mr. Bush, how exactly is Mr. Cheney able to defy gravity?"—Tom Tegtmeyer

"George W. (the W. now standing for 'Wallenda'), commenting on his debate performances."—Will Vehrs

Hair Care Corner

"Larry King, about his hair."—Barbara Lippert

"The bit about defying gravity was Kim Dae-jung referring to the leader of North Korea's hair. The other thing was the name of a hit record they had together back in the '80s when they were both in Flock of Seagulls."—Kerry Gaines

Self-Reference Corner

"Isn't this Immanuel Nobel's famous statement defending his final bankruptcy declaration?"—Will Vehrs

"Man, are these just going to get harder and harder over the next three weeks?"—Greg Diamond

Newz Kwiz 4 Kidz Korner

"Today, kidz, we honor—geez, gravity, information, materiality? I'm not seeing a lot of potential there. I had been hoping to find some way to turn the conversation around to Rust v. Sullivan—you remember, that 5-4 Supreme Court from late in the Bush administration that said that the government can enforce a gag rule against doctors working in clinics who receive any federal funding to keep them from giving women even medically indicated information about abortion services? The one that never went into effect because Clinton refused to implement it, but that the next president could start to enforce on his first day of office if he wanted to? The one that someone could ask Dubya about his position on at the 'town hall' meeting on Tuesday?—but I haven't been able to find a decent hook for it. So, I think we'll honor flowers today. Flowers are pretty, and they taste good too."—Greg Diamond