"The Chinese government didn't like a shot of Clinton holding hands with the Dalai Lama; they weren't too crazy about the one in which he was necking with the pope either."—Floyd Elliot

"George W. Bush objected to the picture of Al Gore saving the Earth from Lex Luthor."—Francis Heaney

"George W. Bush and his campaign manager objected to the lack of any pictures of the vice president, claiming it interfered with their campaign strategy of running against Clinton-Gore."—Fred Petrick

"Reed Irvine objected to photos of the park in which Vince Foster died because the photos did not include 'the real killers.' "—Mark Wegener

"Al Gore objected to a picture of him utilizing the presidential beer bong."—Sarah M. Balcomb

"Al Gore in the Oval Office doing blow off a hooker's ass."—Beth "Respectfully Minding the Penis-Free Zone" Sherman

"Al Gore, the one of him humping Clinton's leg."—Floyd Elliot

"George Bush the Elder objecting to the photo of Bill Clinton receiving the Greatest Republican President of the 20^th Century award from the Brookings Institution."—Pete Dudley

" 'We were upset that they included the Dalai Lama,' said a spokesman for the Chinese government, 'but it was posing him in a soiled blue dress that really made up our minds.' "—Josh Kamensky

"Bill Clinton objected to the photo of Joe Eszterhas interviewing his penis."—Charles Star

"Jerry Falwell, the shot of Joycelyn Elders knocking on a men's room stall and yelling 'You're on in five minutes, Mr. Michael.' "—Bill Scheft

"Paula Jones objected to the photo of herself with her old nose."—David Finkle (Charles Star had a similar answer.)

"That picture of Chelsea making out with the young black aide has the militia movement ... oops, that's West Wing. Isn't it?"—Carl Dietrich

"Hillary couldn't have the shot of her wearing a Red Sox cap and beaming as she shook hands with Carlton Fisk reach the light of day."—Michael McElroy

"Oh, the Chinese government is having a conniption over a photo of Clinton French-kissing Joan Chen while high-fiving the Dalai Lama."—Gary Frazier

"Gore (OK, OK, his campaign staffers) objected to a picture of Monica Lewinsky eating a Big Mac with Bill Clinton while a bunch of Buddhist clerics watched, awestruck."—Robert Lasker

"Dick Cheney objected to the picture that showed him playing pocket pool with an oil lobbyist."—Steven Davis

"Rush Limbaugh objected to the publishing of that photo of him and Barney Frank at the last Washington Press Club Christmas party. 'I was drunk!' said Rush. 'And I was young at the time. You can't hold me responsible for youthful indiscretions!' "—Mark Shotzberger

"The Chinese government objected to a picture of Carol Channing. 'Dolly Levi, Dalai Lama, what's the difference?' a high-ranking Chinese official did not say."—Fred Petrick

"Kenneth Starr feels a mite put out about the grainy black-and-white of Sidney Blumenthal peeing on the report."—Josh Kamensky

"Tipper Gore just hates that picture of Clinton showing Al how to really kiss a woman."—Will Vehrs (similarly, Chris Gwaltney; but with Britney visual aids, Brita J. McNay)

"I thought for sure it was Tipper, miffed to see that pic of Bill and Al in a stirringly unpresidential embrace. But no, just the Chinese peeved about the Dalai Lama with his clothes on but flashing one hell of a bicep."—Beth Browde

"The Chinese government objected to a picture of President Clinton and Deng Xiaoping eating takeout moo shu pork on a park bench in Tiananmen Square."—Jerry Friedman

"Hillary's campaign manager objected to the photo of a vacationing Hillary wearing her wacky 'I Killed Vince Foster and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt' T-shirt."—Sharon Dynek (similarly, but a lover not a fighter, Greg Diamond)

"Al, to a photo of him on a Navajo reservation out west where he was mistaken for a totem pole."—Julie Carwile

"The RNC objects to the picture of Trent Lott bitch-slapping Henry Hyde for making the Senate go through with the impeachment trial."—Mark Terry

"Janet Reno was furious to find John Huang and Johnny Chung lurking in the background of every other photo. 'How in the hell do you expect me to keep this investigation at bay with shit like that?' she demanded."—Will Vehrs

"It appears that Tom DeLay is not amused by a picture of Clinton and Al Gore mooning Dennis Hastert from a limo speeding by the Capitol Building."—Gary Frazier

"Hillary's campaign staff, protesting the photo of their candidate menacingly outlining the boundaries of Bill's 'no penis zone.' "—Will Vehrs

"Cigar Aficionado to ... oh, never mind."—Hanneke Festen (similarly, Jim Stallard and Mark Romoser)

Self-Reference Corner

"Why oh why didn't you declare a money-shot-free zone???? Now we're going to hear joke after joke after torrid tasteless horrid joke about the picture of Bill, lolling in his office chair, eyes half-closed, grinning half-amazed at all the zeroes on that illicit check from Mr. Huang and his PRC cronies. (Gotcha? Thought so.)"—Jon Drumwright

"For purposes of the quiz, the penis-free zone shall be known as the 'distinguishing characteristic-free zone.' "—Josh Kamensky

"I objected to Life Is Beautiful. And yes, it was a very stupid time to do it. As well as being a non sequitur."—Greg Diamond

Newz Kwiz for Kidz Korner

"Today we honor former Rep. Patricia Schroeder, D-Colo.! She was famous for being a witty feminist. Sometimes she looked like she might be a distant Kennedy relative. At one time that was a good thing! She was also much prettier than Bella Abzug, though I have to admit she was no Cynthia McKinney. Anyway, she was the one who first called Reagan the 'Teflon president' because nothing bad would stick to him. Many Republicans thought this was unfair. And it is! How many bad things had people even tried to stick to President Reagan? Until you've tried everything, you shouldn't make a categorical assertion! If you would like a science project, maybe you can write President Reagan and see if you can run an experiment and see what bad things will stick to him. If he says no, there may be an old reactionary living somewhere near you who would cooperate! Maybe you're lucky enough to live near Alan Simpson!"—Greg Diamond