"Jimi Hendrix's rendition of 'Ave Maria.' "—Evan "I Know a Miracle When I See One" Cornog (Francis Heaney, Carl Dietrich, Mark Wade, and Fred Petrick had similar answers.)

"I don't remember, because the brown communion wafers were a BUMMER."—Paul Tullis (similarly, Charles Star, Art Nelson, Carl Dietrich, Tony Coppoletta, Deborah Guy, Helene Wecker, Ian Mount, Rich Klicki, Noah Meyerson, and Mark Wade)

"When the pope, to deafening cheers, concluded an already unbelievable convocation by laying his scepter down and setting it on fire."—Sean Carman

"It's a good thing Janet Jackson was busy this month."—Julie Carwile

"T-shirt signing. His holiness was too feeble to scrawl more than 'Pa …' on one of the assembled nuns, but they were cool with it and did the Brandi Chastain anyway!"—Bonnie Resnick

"Pope lighting the heretic pyre at the start of the games."—Arthur T.S. Jackson

"Clothing-optional swimming with the little sisters of the poor."—Charlie Glassenberg

" 'They dancing all night to songs of Jovanotti in the Rome discothèque, they drinking, and—eh—how do you say, "fornicare"?' the Vatican's press secretary did not say."—Deborah Wassertzug

"The Mary Magdalene kissing booth."—Matt Sullivan (simlarly, Francis Heaney)

"Those American bishops and their after-hours panty raids!"—Carl Dietrich

"Confession. It will also soon be appearing on ABC as its newest reality-based show."—Tim Lundberg

"The one where Bob Hope rose from the dead."—Charlie Glassenberg

"Casting stones at Iron Maiden."—Francis Heaney

"Rhythm moshing."—Barbara Lippert (similarly, Andrew Staples, Steven Davis, and Beth Sheman; in the red hat, Alison Gordon)

"The concluding pogrom."—Jeff Bendix

"Well, it was a tossup between 'rape the pagans' and the 'mud baptism.' "—Jennifer Heinicke

"Mud baptisms."—Bill Cavanaugh (similarly, Tony Coppoletta)

"How long can priests resist altar boys? You figure it out."—Steven Davis

"Virtual nun flogging (TM)."—Sarah M. Balcomb

"Pegging the bulletproof 'Popemobile' with golf balls as the supreme pontiff was motored across the driving range."—Walt Morgan (similarly suggesting motorsports, Jon Snow)

"Easily the body-piercing and self-flagellation tent."—Leigh Anne Kippeny (similarly, Mark Terry)

"Third day unannounced half-price discounts on selected 'velvet Jesus' paintings."—Sean Carman

"I hear the rhythm method booth worked out real well for some of the youngsters."—Walt Morgan

"Whose Gospel Is It, Anyway? This takeoff on the popular TV show featured hilarious improvisational liturgical styles."—Will Vehrs

"I don't know the most popular. But the least popular involved Anne Sprinkle, a microscope, and the pope's colon."—Jon Hotchkiss

"Skinny-dipping in a pool of holy water."—Dave Donovan and Dilan Esper

"The Jew tossing contest!!!!!!!!!!"—Mark Shotzberger

"The appearance of the all-new PopËmons."—Jon Snow and Mark Wade

"To hell and back roller coaster."—Will Vehrs

"Paying 11 million lira for a bottle of holy water."—Greg Diamond

"Crosby, Stills, and Nash singing 'Mary, Blue Eyes,' which just edged out Joni Mitchell singing 'By the Time We Got to the Vatican.' "—David Finkle

"Umm ... the reunion tours of 'The Jesus & Mary Chain' and 'MC 900-foot Jesus' bands? (Better pass me another bag of those Quizitos …)"—Kathy Whitesel (similarly, Rich Klicki)

"Playing Survivor, only in the Catholic version, the kids are voted out of heaven."—Marc Spisto (similarly, Dan Jacob)

"The 'auto da fe' dunking game."—Noah Meyerson

"The flying nun ride. Little cars made up like that cute Sister Bertrille are sent flying into the sky, with only God's intervention to bring them safely to earth again."—Steven Davis

Self-Reference Corner

"I don't know, but Randy could learn a thing or two from the Vatican about enforcing a 'no penis' zone!"—Will Vehrs

NewzKwiz 4 Kids Korner

"Today we honor Pope John Paul II, and this means we get to sing the 'Happy Pope Song'! It's sung sort of to the tune of the first stanza of 'Turkey in the Straw.' Turkey is the home country of the man who shot the pope, which was prophesized by the third vision of the Lady of Fátima, though I'm still a bit fuzzy on this, and I'm not the only one. Straw is an archaic form of the verb 'strew.' Ready, go!

He's a happy old pope
Though his skin is turning taupe
Is he dying yet? Nope!
Not as soon as Bob Hope!

If one night you grope
And have sex while high on dope
And get pregnant, don't lope
To some abortionist mope!

There's no way to soft-soap
The unbearable scope
Of the slippery slope
And the end of that rope!

'Cause you could not cope

With the loss of all hope

When you disappoint the pope

And spend the rest of eternity in hellfire which

burns your flesh painfully without consuming it

and raises welts the size of a cantaloupe!

Yeah! Did you remember to sing the last line real fast? Whew! Remember, if anyone asks, you learned what an abortionist is from Mr. Rogers, not me! Sweet dreamz, kidz!"—Greg Diamond